My cancer taught me more about God’s sovereignty than anything else

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was struck by the environment of negativity and fear that seemed to permeate most medical facilities. This was compounded by the overwhelming amount of advice from well-meaning people about what I should be doing.

Fighting cancer can be an emotional roller coaster based on opinions, options, scans, and assessments. I would get excited if a lymph node was decreasing in size and then dread the day it felt larger.

People often walk through emotional stages, from denial to acceptance, when they hear the word “cancer.” Acceptance does not mean retreating into fear; instead, it says, “Here’s what’s going on, and here’s how I’m going to fight it.”

Sovereignty is not a formula

God’s sovereignty does not operate according to our expectations; it operates according to His foreknowledge. This is where the concept can become deeply uncomfortable. The point is not that God is careless or cruel, but that He is not predictable in the way we might want Him to be. If we try to turn His sovereignty into a system that guarantees comfort, we will be crushed by disappointment. Yet, this tension does not have to lead to despair; it can lead to trust. The choice is ours.

Scripture invites us into a better posture, teaching us to be open to God’s plan and let go of our expectations. The core truth is worth preserving: God’s sovereignty is not a puzzle to be solved but a reality to be trusted.

God is not surprised

This cancer diagnosis has taught me many things, but one lesson stands out: life is far more fragile than we care to admit. It is easy for us to make plans and assume tomorrow will happen exactly as we anticipated. But all it takes is one bad diagnosis or an unexpected trial to change everything. If there’s one truth I’ve taken away from this hard season, it’s this: God is never surprised. He is not pacing back and forth in Heaven worrying about what will happen next. He remains on His throne, sovereign and fully in control of our lives.

If there’s one truth I hope you take away from this article, it is that the greatest healing often takes place long before physical healing ever begins.

Don’t waste the pain

Ultimate healing starts when we surrender our lives and our illusion of control to God. It begins when we stop trying to carry burdens we were never designed to carry on our own. It starts when we finally say, “Lord, I trust You.”

Sometimes God is merciful and heals instantly. Sometimes He is merciful and heals gradually. Sometimes, He is merciful and brings healing through doctors, medications, fasting, or lifestyle changes. And sometimes He is merciful and accomplishes a deeper spiritual healing inside the soul while the body still struggles. No matter the outcome, He is merciful. Don’t waste the pain. Let it drive you to deeper dependence on Christ.

His sovereignty is still my sanity

My prayer for you and for me is simple: that our trials will continue to strengthen our faith and cause us to love God more. If this season has taught me anything, it’s that God is still good, even in the valley of the shadow of death. He is still worthy to be praised in our time of waiting and seeking. God is still in control of writing the story, even when we don’t understand it.

So, fight illness wisely. Steward your physical health. Seek godly counsel. I implore you to take care of the body God gave you as His child. But above all else, seek Him. Healing is wonderful, but knowing the Healer is everything. His sovereignty is still my sanity, and I pray it becomes yours, too.

We live in a fallen world. Sometimes the Lord heals. Sometimes, He allows suffering to remain. Either way, Scripture brings us back to the same confession of faith. With Job we say, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15). And with the psalmist we learn to say, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil” (Psalm 23:4).