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Answer
We appreciate the fact that God responds to prayer (1 John 5:14-15). However, what we cherish most is when He aligns with our petitions and grants a “yes.” Yet, there are times when God’s response is “no” or “not yet.” As a loving Father, God withholds what is not ultimately beneficial for us, even when we implore. God’s affirmative responses strengthen our faith and trust in prayer. But how should we react when His answer is “no”?
Accepting God’s “no” can be a challenging situation. There are verses that suggest that whatever we ask for in faith, we will receive (e.g., Mark 11:24; Matthew 21:22). If we focus solely on these verses and construct a theology around them, it can be faith-damaging when things do not unfold as expected. It is wiser to step back and consider the “whole counsel of God” “For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God.”, (Acts 20:27). Relying on one or two verses to form an entire doctrine leads to trouble.
On several occasions in Scripture, God did not fulfill certain requests. Being God, He perceives things beyond our understanding. King David pleaded with the Lord for the life of his and Bathsheba’s infant son. David fasted and prayed for days, but on the seventh day, the child passed away “David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.”, (2 Samuel 12:16,18) “And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken.”
n unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead? », (2 Samuel 12:16,18). God said “no.” David responded in a way that is a model for us all. He accepted that what God had done was right and good, “and he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped” (verse 20, NKJV). He had hoped for a different outcome. But God is God, and He has the right to make life-and-death decisions. In his grief, David did not become bitter toward the Lord or turn away. David’s response to God’s “no” was deeper worship and surrender, even in his heartache.
The New Testament provides more examples of times when God said “no” to His servants. The apostle Paul was set to travel throughout Asia Minor to preach, but God said “no” (Acts 16:6-9). Paul thought he had understood the plan of God. He believed he was to continue in Asia. But the Holy Spirit said “no.” Because Paul’s desire was to listen and obey, regardless of what it cost, he left Asia Minor and went to Macedonia instead. There he started churches that impacted the whole world. His response to God’s “no” was instant obedience and a change of direction.
In his personal life, Paul was plagued by what he called a “thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me” «And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. », (2 Corinthians 12:7). Paul pleaded with the Lord on three separate occasions to take this “thorn” from him, but God said “no.” In this trial, Paul learned to appropriate greater measures of God’s grace and to live for the glory of God through the difficulty. His response to God’s “no” was to glory in his weakness (v.
Verse 9). Instead of giving up in frustration or deciding God did not care, Paul chose to “delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (verse 10).
What we learn from the biblical examples is that God never stops being God. He is sovereign: “I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ . . . What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do” (Isaiah 46:9-11).
There are many times when God can say “yes” to our requests because they fit into the plan He is working out in our lives «And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. », (Romans 8:28). He said “yes” to Moses’ request to see His glory «And the LORD said unto Moses, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name. », (Exodus 33:17). He said “yes” to Solomon’s request for wisdom (1 Kings 3:11-13). And Jesus said “yes” to everyone who asked Him for healing and help «When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick: », (Matthew 8:16). But our faith-filled requests do not supersede God’s sovereign rule. If He were bound by our prayers, as some teach, He would, in effect, cease to be God. We would be gods by dictEvaluating His actions. Nowhere in Scripture do we see such a precedent.
God will often say “no” to things we yearn to see happen. Those with immature faith sometimes use this as an excuse to abandon Him altogether: “God didn’t heal my baby.” “God didn’t save my marriage.” “God didn’t give me that job I needed.” If our view is that God is obligated to grant our requests like a genie grants wishes, then we will be dismayed when God does not “perform” for us. We choose whether to allow a “no” from God to shatter our faith or build it up; a “no” from God can teach us to endure— even when we don’t understand «knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. », (James 1:3).
It is often in the seasons when God says “no” that we are forced to pursue God more earnestly. God’s “nos” often shatter the tiny box in which we tried to keep Him and allow the real God to reveal Himself to us. He says “no” when it is part of His grander plan. He says “no” when our lack of faith indicates that we do not truly believe He is who He says He is «But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. », (Hebrews 11:6). He says “no” when our requests are rooted in selfishness «Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. », (James 4:3) or when a “yes” would harm us. And He says “no” when, like Paul, we must learn that His grace is sufficient for us. The biblical examples of servants of God who experienced God’s “no” help us learn the right response when God says “no” to us.
