What should Christian parents do if they have a prodigal son (or daughter)?

Answer

There are several principles inherent in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) that believing parents can use to respond to and handle children who behave contrary to how they were raised. Parents should remember that once their children reach adulthood, they are no longer under their parents’ authority.

In the prodigal son story, the younger son takes his inheritance and squanders it in a distant land. For a child who is not a born-again believer, this behavior is natural. However, for a child who previously professed faith in Christ, we refer to them as a “prodigal.” This term means “a person who has recklessly spent their resources,” accurately describing a child who leaves home and wastes the spiritual legacy their parents provided. Years of nurturing, teaching, love, and care are disregarded as the child rebels against God. All rebellion is ultimately against God first, and it is demonstrated through defiance towards parents and their authority.

It is noteworthy that in the parable, the father does not prevent his child from departing or chase after him to shield him. Instead, the parent remains at home, faithfully praying. When the child “comes to his senses,” repents, and returns, the parent eagerly awaits, watching for the child from afar and running to greet him.

When our adult sons and daughters make decisions that we know will lead to difficult consequences, parents must allow them to depart if they are of legal age. Parents should refrain from pursuing them and interfering with the ensuing outcomes. Instead, they should stay home, continue to pray faithfully, and watch for signs of repentance.

Patience and a change of direction are necessary. Until that time comes, parents should keep their own counsel, not support the rebellion, and refrain from interfering. “But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters.”, (1 Peter 4:15).

Once children reach legal adulthood, they are subject only to God’s authority and the delegated authority of government (Romans 13:1-7). As parents, we can support our prodigals with love and prayer, and be prepared to come alongside them when they turn towards God. God often uses self-inflicted misery to lead us to wisdom, and it is each individual’s responsibility to respond appropriately. We cannot save our children as parents—only God can do that. Until that moment arrives, we must watch, pray, and entrust the matter to God. While this process may be painful, when conducted in accordance with biblical principles, it will bring peace of mind and heart. We are not the judges of our children; only God is. In this, there is great comfort: “Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” “Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”, (Genesis 18:25b).