What is the difference between dating and courting?

Response

Dating and courtship are two ways of initiating relationships with the opposite sex. While some non-Christians engage in dating with the goal of pursuing multiple physical relationships, this is not acceptable for Christians and should not be the purpose of dating. Many Christians view dating as a form of friendship and maintain this aspect until both individuals are prepared to commit to each other as potential marriage partners. Primarily, dating serves as a period for a Christian to determine if their potential spouse also shares their faith in Christ. The Bible cautions against unions between believers and non-believers, as those who walk in the light (of Christ) and those who dwell in darkness cannot coexist harmoniously (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). Christians engaging in dating should restrict physical contact to prevent temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

Supporters of courtship over dating argue that couples should refrain from any physical contact (no touching, handholding, or kissing) until marriage. In a courtship relationship, many couples choose not to spend time together unless accompanied by family members, preferably parents. Furthermore, those in courtship openly declare their intentions to assess compatibility for marriage. Advocates of courtship believe that it allows individuals to genuinely understand each other in a platonic environment without the complexities of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their judgment.

Both dating and courtship approaches have inherent challenges. For individuals dating, being alone with an attractive member of the opposite sex can lead to difficult-to-resist temptations. Christian dating involves risks if boundaries are not set and maintained.

A couple must establish boundaries and commit to respecting them. If they struggle with this, they should take measures to ensure that Christ is always honored during their time together and that sin does not infiltrate their relationship. If the dating couple is still under parental authority, the parents should be involved, informed, and accessible.

The courtship approach comes with its own challenges. While some proponents view it as the sole option for finding a partner, others perceive it as restrictive and excessively controlling. Moreover, uncovering the authentic self behind the facade presented to the entire family can be difficult. People behave differently in a group setting than they do one-on-one. If a couple never has private moments together, they miss out on the chance to connect and develop emotional and spiritual intimacy. Furthermore, certain courtship scenarios have resulted in relationships resembling arranged marriages, which can breed resentment between partners.

Neither dating nor courtship is explicitly mandated in Scripture. Ultimately, the Christian character and spiritual maturity of the couple hold more significance than the specific manner in which they spend time together. The outcome of the process—regardless of the method employed—should be devout Christian individuals marrying and establishing families that honor God. “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” «Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. », (1 Corinthians 10:31, NKJV).

Considering one’s personal preference—dating or courting—as the exclusive approach is a pitfall. Looking down on those who choose differently is prideful. Striving for unity within the body of Christ is essential, irrespective of the relationship choices others make.

In areas where the Bible does not speak.