What does the Bible say about how to handle a sibling rivalry?

Answer

Sibling rivalry dates back to nearly the beginning of time, starting with the first two brothers mentioned in Scripture, Cain and Abel. We encounter other sibling rivals in the Bible, such as Ishmael and Isaac, Esau and Jacob, Leah and Rachel, Joseph and his brothers, and Abimelech and his brothers. In each instance, the sibling rivalry resulted in one or both siblings taking unwise, sinful actions.

God desires that siblings live in harmony and love with one another, as stated in «Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity! », (Psalm 133:1). Brotherly love is presented as an example of how believers should interact with one another (Hebrews 13:1;1 Peter 3:8). Nevertheless, we are aware that sibling rivalry exists in the real world. Brothers and sisters argue, fight, lie, trick, and sometimes mistreat each other.

A parent’s responsibility is to raise children to be Christlike, so we should look to Jesus to understand what He emphasized regarding our behavior and treatment of others.

Jesus identified the two most crucial commandments as loving God and loving our neighbor (Matthew 22:36-40). When Jesus spoke of neighbors, He meant those in close proximity to us, and no one is closer than our own brothers and sisters. The home should be a place where children learn to love one another. “Love covers over all wrongs” «Hatred stirreth up strifes: But love covereth all sins. », (Proverbs 10:12), including the causes of sibling rivalry.

Sibling rivalry can arise from jealousy, selfishness, and parental favoritism (real or perceived).

Perceived. The sibling rivalry between Cain and Abel seems to have been caused by Cain’s jealousy over the acceptance of Abel’s sacrifice (Genesis 4:3-5). The murderous sibling rivalry in Gideon’s family was caused by Abimelech’s selfish desire to rule as a king (Judges 9:1-6). The sibling rivalry among Jacob’s sons was fueled by Jacob’s favoritism of Joseph (Genesis 37:3-4).

The causes of sibling rivalry can be overcome by kindness, respect, and, of course, love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Parents should insist that their children treat each other with kindness, respect, and love—and the parents should model the same.

Scripture teaches us how to relate to one another. Ephesians 4:31–32 addresses several negative behaviors to avoid and positive behaviors to cultivate: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Also, Philippians 2:3–4 is helpful: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

The story of Joseph and his brothers initially involves sibling rivalry based on jealousy and hatred, and some horrible things happen to Joseph. But the story has a happy ending. In fact, the story of Joseph turns out to be about brotherly love, forgiveness, and God’s goodness and sovereignty (see Genesis 37–50). Joseph’s treatment of his brothers in the last chapter of Genesis is a good example of kindness, humility, and love.