What does the Bible say about age differences in relationships?

Answer

If you conduct a Bible search for the phrase “age differences in relationships,” you will find exactly 0 results. In fact, a person’s age is rarely mentioned in Scripture, and this holds true for married couples in the Bible. We simply do not have information about couples’ age gaps in the Bible.

Abraham and Sarah are the exception; we do know the age difference between them. When God promised Abraham that he and Sarah would be the start of many nations, “Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, ‘Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?’” «Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear? », (Genesis 17:17). Based on Abraham’s mirthful questions, he and Sarah were ten years apart—not a significant age difference, but noteworthy. There are no other couples in the Bible where both individuals’ ages are provided.

It is often assumed that Boaz was considerably older than Ruth. This assumption is based on a passage in Ruth 3. When Ruth asks Boaz to be her kinsman-redeemer, Boaz replies, “The Lord bless you, my daughter. . . . You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor” (verse 10). The implication is that Ruth, instead of seeking a husband among those closer to her own age, either in Moab or in Israel, chose to follow Jewish custom and place herself under the protection of the more mature Boaz. The Jewish Mishnah suggests Boaz’s age was 80 and Ruth’s was 40 (Ruth Rabbah 7:4;Ruth Zuta 4:13), but this is purely speculative, as the Bible does not disclose the age gap between them.

It is also commonly believed that Joseph was significantly older than Mary.Significantly older than Mary. However, there is absolutely nothing in the Bible to indicate that.

Given the Bible’s silence on the issue, we can say that, in the end, age differences in relationships are not a major concern to God. Age can be important in a marriage, of course, but it is far less important than other issues such as salvation, spiritual maturity, compatibility, etc. As people get older, age differences mean less and less. Obviously, a 40-year-old marrying an 18-year-old will raise some eyebrows, but no one thinks twice about an 82-year-old marrying a 60-year-old.

The person we marry should be of the opposite gender (Genesis 2:21-25), and he or she should be a believer in Christ «Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? », (2 Corinthians 6:14). And, of course, we should marry for the proper reasons (lust and greed being improper reasons). Beyond those guidelines, we have a certain amount of freedom concerning whom to marry. Age differences are a matter of consideration, and we should certainly ask for wisdom when the difference is great «If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. », (James 1:5), but the Bible does not treat age differences as a moral or spiritual issue.