What does it mean to be one flesh in a marriage?

Answer

The term “one flesh” originates from the Genesis account of the creation of Eve. Genesis 2:21-24 explains how God formed Eve from a rib taken from Adam’s side while he slept. Adam realized that Eve was a part of him, making them truly “one flesh.” This concept signifies that just as our bodies form a unified whole that cannot be separated into parts and still remain whole, so it is intended to be in the marriage relationship. It transitions from two separate entities (individuals) to one entity (a married couple). There are various aspects to this new union.

Regarding emotional attachments, the new union supersedes all past and future relationships “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”, (Genesis 2:24). Some spouses may prioritize connections with parents over the new partner, which can lead to marital issues and distort God’s original plan of “leaving and cleaving.” Similarly, problems may arise when a spouse turns to a child for emotional fulfillment instead of their partner.

Emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, financially, and in all other aspects, the couple is meant to unite as one. Just as different body parts care for each other (the stomach digests food for the body, the brain guides the body for its well-being, the hands work for the body’s benefit, etc.), each partner in marriage should care for the other. They should no longer view earnings as “mine” but as “ours.” Ephesians 5:22-33 and Proverbs 31:10-31 provide guidance on how this unity applies to the roles of the husband and wife.

Physically, they become one.

Flesh, and the result of that one flesh is found in the children that their union produces; these children now possess a special genetic makeup, specific to their union. Even in the sexual aspect of their relationship, a husband and wife are not to consider their bodies as their own but as belonging to their partner (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Nor are they to focus on their pleasure but rather on giving pleasure to their spouse.

This oneness and desire to benefit each other is not automatic, especially after mankind’s fall into sin. The man, in Genesis 2:24 (KJV), is told to “cleave” to his wife. This word has two ideas behind it. One is to be “glued” to his wife, a picture of how tight the marriage bond is to be. The other aspect is to “pursue hard after” the wife. This “pursuing hard after” is to go beyond the courtship leading to marriage and is to continue throughout the marriage. The fleshly tendency is to “do what feels good to me” rather than to consider what will benefit the spouse. And this self-centeredness is the rut that marriages commonly fall into once the “honeymoon is over.” Instead of each spouse dwelling upon how his or her own needs are not being met, he or she is to remain focused on meeting the needs of the spouse.

As nice as it may be for two people to live together meeting each other’s needs, God has a higher calling for the marriage. Even as they were to be serving Christ with their lives before marriage (Romans 12:1-2), now they are to serve Christ together as a unit and raise their children to serve God (1 Corinthians 7:29-34;Malachi 2:15;Ephesians 6:4). Priscilla and Aquila, in Acts 18, would be good examples of this. As a couple pursues serving Christ together, the joy which the Spirit gives will fiIn their marriage (Galatians 5:22-23). In the Garden of Eden, there were three present (Adam, Eve, and God), and there was joy. Therefore, if God is central in a marriage today, there will also be joy. Without God, a genuine and complete oneness is not achievable.