What does it mean that there is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing (Ecclesiastes 3:5)?

Answer

In Ecclesiastes 3:1–8, King Solomon observes that God has a plan for all people at all times and in every season. Through the continuous cycles of life—including beginnings and endings, joys and sorrows, highs and lows—God is always with us, working out His good purposes (see Romans 8:28). If we learn to trust Him, we will grow to appreciate that the Lord’s timing and intentions are perfect.

“There is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,” says Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:5. This pair of actions is the ninth of fourteen contrasting seasons in which Solomon lists and condenses all human activity in its various forms.

The term for “embrace” in the original Hebrew means “to grasp or hold (something or someone) tightly in your arms, usually with fondness.” Therefore, this stanza appears to encompass friendships, family interactions, and sexual relations between husbands and wives.

The same verb for “embrace” is frequently used in Scripture to depict two individuals greeting each other. It is found in Genesis 29:13, when Laban warmly welcomes his nephew Jacob, and in Genesis 33:4, when brothers Esau and Jacob have their emotional reunion. In the New Testament, believers often embrace and greet one another with “a holy kiss” (2 Corinthians 13:12;Romans 16:16;Galatians 2:9;Acts 20:10,37).

A time to embrace can also be a euphemism for sexual unions, as seen in Song of Solomon 2:6 and Proverbs 5:20. The law outlined specific “times to refrain from embracing” in Leviticus 15. Sexual relations and any form of touching were strictly prohibited if either the man or the woman had a bodily discharge. A seven-day purification process was necessary before sexual relations could resume.

With the desire to avoid a dreadfulIn judgment of sin, God called the people of Israel to consecrate themselves in solemn acts of repentance: “Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning” «Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: », (Joel 2:12, NLT). This season of repentance also involved a time to refrain from embracing. The crisis was so devastating that every occasion for joy and personal enjoyment had to be put aside. All the people were to gather in a sacred assembly to mourn and to plead with God for deliverance: “Gather all the people—the elders, the children, and even the babies. Call the bridegroom from his quarters and the bride from her private room” «gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet. », (Joel 2:16, NLT).

The apostle Paul also alludes to a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing in his teaching about principles for marriage: “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. . . . Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5;NLT).

Christian couples are not to deprive one another sexually except by mutual consent. There is an appropriate “time to refrain from embracing,” but only for an agreed-upon period and purpose—to

devote themselves to prayer. After the dedicated season of prayer is over, Paul encouraged couples to resume “intimacy” so that Satan could not lure them into immoral sexual relations.