Since God withholds forgiveness, can we?

Response

The Bible discusses forgiveness extensively, including God’s forgiveness of sinful human beings and the forgiveness that human beings should extend to one another. These are not separate issues; instead, they are closely connected. Our intimacy with God and daily purification depend on our forgiveness of others, as stated in “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12), and our forgiveness of others should mirror God’s forgiveness of us (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13). Therefore, this issue is significant.

To forgive others in a way that reflects God’s forgiveness, we must first comprehend God’s forgiveness of us. Unfortunately, in recent years, the term forgiveness has been associated more with “psychological liberation” than freedom from sin, leading to some confusion about the true essence of forgiveness.

It is accurate that God’s forgiveness towards us is contingent upon our acknowledgment of sin and genuine repentance. Acknowledgment involves agreeing with God about our wrongdoing, while repentance entails a change of heart regarding the sinful behavior and a transformation in actions that demonstrate a sincere willingness to abandon the sin. Sin remains unforgiven unless confessed and repented (see 1 John 1:9; Acts 20:21). While this condition for forgiveness may appear challenging, it is also a tremendous blessing and opportunity.

Misery. Confession of sin is not an act of self-condemnation but of seeking God’s provision of the remedy for sin in forgiveness through Christ.

God’s requirement that we confess and repent of sin does not mean God is unwilling or unready to forgive. He has done everything on His part to facilitate forgiveness for us. His heart is willing, not wanting anyone to perish “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”, (2 Peter 3:9), and He has gone to the most extreme lengths imaginable to provide the means by which He can forgive us. Because of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, God freely offers us that forgiveness.

Scripture says to forgive others as we have been forgiven “and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”, (Ephesians 4:32) and love one another as we are loved “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”, (John 13:34). We should be willing and ready to extend forgiveness to anyone who comes to us confessing his sin and repenting (Matthew 6:14-15;18:23-35;Ephesians 4:31-32;Colossians 3:13). Not only is this an obligation, but it should be our delight. If we are truly thankful for our own forgiveness, we should have no hesitancy in granting forgiveness to a repentant offender, even if he wrongs us and repents again and again. After all, we, too, sin again and again, and we are thankful that God forgives us when we come.To Him with a true repentant heart of confession.

That brings us to the question at hand: should we forgive a person who does not confess their sin and is not repentant? To answer this properly, the term forgiveness needs some explanation. First, what forgiveness is not:

Forgiveness is not the same as forbearance. To forbear is to patiently endure a provocation, overlook a slight, or maintain self-control in the face of frustration. Forbearance leads us to consider someone’s sinful action or attitude with love, wisdom, and discernment and choose not to react. Scripture uses various words for this quality: patience, longsuffering, endurance, and, of course, forbearance (see Proverbs 12:16;see Proverbs 19:11;1 Peter 4:8).

Forgiveness is also not forgetting. God does not suffer from amnesia about our sin. He remembers very clearly; however, it is not a remembering to condemn us « There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. », (Romans 8:1). King David’s adultery and Abraham’s lying—these sins are recorded for all time in Scripture. God obviously did not “forget” about them.

Forgiveness is not an elimination of all consequences. Even when we are forgiven by Christ, we may still suffer the natural consequences of our sin «Can a man take fire in his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? », (Proverbs 6:27) or face the discipline of a loving Heavenly Father (Hebrews 12:5-6).

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a commitment to pardon the offender. Feelings may or may not accompany forgiveness. Feelings of bitterness towards a person ma

Fading with time without any forgiveness being extended.

Forgiveness is not the private, solitary act of an individual heart. In essence, forgiveness involves at least two people. This is where confession and repentance come into play. Forgiveness is not solely about what occurs within the offended person’s heart; it is an interaction between two individuals.

Forgiveness is not selfish; it is not driven by self-interest. We do not aim to forgive for our own benefit or to alleviate ourselves from stress. We forgive out of love for God, love for neighbors, and gratitude for our own forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not the automatic restoration of trust. It is incorrect to assume that forgiving an abusive spouse today means the separation should conclude tomorrow. Scripture provides us with many reasons to be wary of those who have demonstrated themselves to be untrustworthy (see Luke 16:10-12). Rebuilding trust can only commence after a process of reconciliation involving genuine forgiveness— which, naturally, includes confession and repentance.

Additionally, forgiveness offered and available is not equivalent to forgiveness given, received, and transacted. This is where the term forgiveness on its own without any qualifier is frequently used differently from, and beyond, how God’s Word employs it. We often label the attitude of forgiveness— being willing to forgive— as “forgiveness,” just like the actual act of true forgiveness. Essentially, in common perception, as long as a person is open to granting forgiveness, he has already forgiven. However, this broad definition of forgiveness bypasses the process of confession and repentance. Forgiveness offered and forgiveness received are entirely distinct, and we do not aid ourselves by employing a catch-all term for both.

If this is what forgiveness is not, then what is it? An exceptional definition of forgiveness is discovered in the book Unpacking Forgiveness by Chris Brauns:

God’s forgivenessA commitment by the one true God to graciously pardon those who repent and believe, reconciling them to Him. This commitment, however, does not eliminate all consequences.

General human forgiveness involves the offended graciously pardoning the repentant from moral liability and seeking reconciliation, though not all consequences may be erased (Crossway Books, 2008, p. 55).

Biblically, complete forgiveness requires the offender to accept it, leading to reconciliation in the relationship. First John 1:9 illustrates that forgiveness aims primarily to liberate the sinner, ending rejection and restoring the relationship. Therefore, we must be open to forgiving others—failure to do so denies them the blessings God has bestowed upon us. Contrary to modern pop psychology, true forgiveness involves both parties, with reconciliation being essential.

While we must avoid harboring bitterness in our hearts «looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; » (Hebrews 12:15) and refrain from repaying evil with evil «not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. » (1 Peter 3:9), we should align with God’s guidance by not granting forgiveness to the unrepentant. In essence, we should reserve forgiveness for those who confess and repent, while remaining prepared to forgive.

Stephen, as he was being stoned tO death illustrates the principle of forgiveness. Echoing Jesus’ words from the cross, Stephen prays, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60; cf: Luke 23:34). These words demonstrate a definite willingness to forgive, but they do not indicate a completed transaction of forgiveness. Stephen simply prayed that God would forgive his murderers. Stephen held no bitterness, and if his murderers repented, he wished them to be forgiven—what a wonderful example of loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”, (Matthew 5:44).

The Bible commands the counter-intuitive action of feeding our enemy when he is hungry “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.”, (Romans 12:20). There is nothing to say we must automatically forgive our enemies (or trust them); rather, we are to love them and work for their good.

If “forgiveness” is given prematurely without the prerequisites of confession and repentance, then the truth has not been dealt with openly by both parties. If the offender doesn’t acknowledge his sin, then he really does not understand what it means to be forgiven. In the long run, bypassing confession or repentance doesn’t help the offender to understand the significance of sin, and it precludes a sense of justice, causing the offended person to battle even more against bitterness.

Here are some key guidelines for godly forgiveness:

– acknowledge the fact of evil “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to…”

That which is good. », (Romans 12:9)

– Leave vengeance to the Lord (verse 19)

– Avoid harboring bitterness, seeking revenge, holding grudges, or seeking retaliation

– Maintain a heart prepared to forgive promptly

– Depend on God to grant you the strength to conquer evil with goodness, even to show love and kindness to an adversary (verses 20–21)

– Acknowledge that God has established governing authorities, and part of their divine duty is to serve as “God’s servants, agents of wrath to carry out punishment on the wrongdoer” «for he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil. », (Romans 13:4). One reason you don’t have to seek revenge yourself is that God has empowered the government to administer justice.