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The acceptance of transgenderism in popular culture poses challenges for Christians. One of these challenges involves the use of personal pronouns: words like he, him, his, she, her, and hers. In certain cases, individuals who identify with a gender different from their biological one may prefer to be addressed using pronouns that align with their identity rather than their biology. For instance, a male who identifies as female may request to be called “she” or “her.”
Furthermore, some individuals assert that they are entirely different genders or a mix of genders. These individuals may request to be addressed with pronouns like they or them, or even with “new” terms such as xi, xim, or xer.
Therefore, should a Christian use “preferred pronouns,” even as a matter of courtesy? Or should believers refrain from using such terms altogether to avoid endorsing falsehoods? The Bible does not provide a direct, explicit answer to this specific question. There are no commandments regarding the use of modern preferred pronouns. However, believers can seek guiding principles to make informed decisions in each situation.
In essence, while Christians should be cautious and respectful, respect should not entail endorsing concepts that contradict biblical teachings. Regardless of the stance a Christian takes on preferred pronouns, it is crucial not to appear to support sin or self-deception. Simultaneously, believers should approach any sensitive issue with sensitivity.
Some Christians may determine that using preferred pronouns is not a viable choice. Opting for these terms over factually accurate pronouns means communicating in a manner that aligns with falsehoods. «Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!»
, (Isaiah 5:20). The individual in question truly belongs to a specific gender, not the gender they prefer or identify with. Therefore, using pronouns that suggest otherwise is at least inaccurate and could be seen as deceitful, insincere, or contradictory to biblical principles.
Some Christians may argue that refusing to use preferred pronouns could be seen as constantly expressing disapproval, potentially leading to increased tension or conflict. From this perspective, believers may opt not to make pronouns a battleground issue. Particularly in professional or personal relationships, believers might consider it wiser to “choose their battles” rather than adopt a rigid position on such terms.
Given that this is a nuanced matter, Christians may find themselves oscillating between these approaches based on the situation. Christians should contemplate at least three key aspects concerning the use of preferred pronouns: showing respect to all individuals, managing personal relationships, and upholding truth in communication.
In addition to these considerations, it is beneficial to distinguish between personal pronouns and personal names, secular perspectives on this matter, and the application of gendered pronouns in reference to God.
Respect for All Individuals
Even in times of disagreement on significant matters, believers are called to respond with kindness and respect “but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:”, (1 Peter 3:15). While rebuke and admonition have their place (Proverbs 27:5;Titus 1:9), when someone is sincere and seeking, “mercy” should be the guiding principle.Principle «And of some have compassion, making a difference: », (Jude 1:22). No matter how a Christian chooses to handle the issue of preferred pronouns, it’s imperative to do so in as gentle and peaceable a way as possible «If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. », (Romans 12:18). All people are broken without Christ «as it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: », (Romans 3:10).
Acting in gentleness does not require believers to lie, betray their conscience, or give a false sense of support (Romans 16:18;Acts 5:29). It does, however, mean that Christians cannot justify approaching the subject in a careless or callous way.
Personal Relationships
As with many issues, one’s approach to transgender issues is affected by context and audience. Referring to a third person, such as a celebrity who is not present, is markedly different from having a face-to-face conversation with a coworker or family member. Interacting with a friend is different from discussing the issue in some public way with a complete stranger. Varying circumstances don’t alter what’s right or wrong, but they do influence how or when a believer engages.
This is part of being “wise as serpents and harmless as doves” « Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. », (Matthew 10:16): being careful and sensitive to those who are hearing or reading one’s words.
Speaking Truth
The reason preferred pronouns present a dilemma for Christians is that they imply
Something the Bible indicates is false: that a person can change genders or be born into the wrong biological sex. Referring to a person who is biologically male as “she” or “her” is, in literal terms, to say something untrue. Worse, when it comes to an issue such as transgenderism, using preferred pronouns can be construed as enabling or endorsing a harmful, unbiblical situation.
From a spiritual and scriptural standpoint, then, the literal intent behind preferred pronouns is unbiblical. Men are not women, and vice versa. Other than a tiny percentage of persons who are biologically intersexed and deserving of special consideration, there are no third, fourth, fifth, etc., genders, nor any basis for a person to “choose” such a thing. For the same reason that believers ought not pretend that other faiths offer salvation «Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. », (John 14:6) or that other gods are real «Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. », (1 John 4:1) or that something sinful is morally right «Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! », (Isaiah 5:20), many believers conclude that it’s immoral to enable the basic premise behind the use of preferred pronouns.
This is why, at the very least, all believers, in all circumstances, need to be careful not to give the impression of accepting the assumption behind preferred pronouns. While Christ was merciful and loving to both the adulterous woman «When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said…Unto her, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?”, (John 8:10) and the woman at the well (John 4:23-24), He gave no mixed signals about their sin (John 4:17-18;8:11).
Equally important to consider is the believer’s primary mission to reach lost people for the sake of Christ (1 Corinthians 1:17;2 Corinthians 4:3). Part of reaching them is sharing the love of Christ (Mark 12:30-31;Romans 1:14-16;1 Peter 4:8). As unfair and inappropriate as it might be for someone to “demand” other people use words they prefer, unbelievers cannot be expected to think and feel like believers “But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.”, (1 Corinthians 2:14). Conceding the use of preferred pronouns, some Christians would argue, is a form of “going the extra mile” (Matthew 5:39-42), so long as it’s clear we’re using such words as a gesture of respect, not in agreement.
Each Christian needs to weigh these concerns when deciding how, or if, to discuss the issue of preferred pronouns. Truth is important, but that does not mean the choice not to use preferred pronouns has to be handled rudely or cruelly.
Pronouns Versus Names
Personal names are different from personal pronouns. Names are an indication of which particular person, place, or thing.
ng is being discussed. Pronouns, however, imply the identity of a person, place, or thing. While certain names may be culturally unconventional, respecting a person’s name preference differs from honoring their pronoun preference.
For instance, if an individual’s name is Charles, they may prefer to go by “Chuck” or a nickname like “Ace” or “Slim.” Many actors and entertainers adopt a “stage name” for their professional persona. This suggests that names in contemporary culture primarily serve the purpose of identification rather than categorization. Therefore, if Chuck wishes to be addressed as “Betty,” it may seem unusual, but it does not equate to asserting, “Chuck is female.” On the other hand, one could argue that using a chosen name aligned with a preferred gender is a form of empowerment.
Secular Considerations
Preferred pronouns also raise secular concerns, irrespective of religious beliefs. Referring to someone as he or she implies a biological context. Mandating the use of preferred pronouns could be viewed as a restriction on free speech. Insisting that others conform to such language suggests a belief that individuals are entitled to dictate how others express themselves. Legally, it is challenging to envision a society mandating the use of language that directly opposes certain viewpoints or beliefs.
To draw a parallel, enforcing the use of preferred pronouns is akin to demanding that others address us as “your majesty,” accompanied by a bow or curtsy, because we believe ourselves to be of royal descent, even if others do not share this belief.
Furthermore, Christians should consider the importance of defending truth «Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints. », (Jude 1:3) with a command to be accommodating to others when appropriate «And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. », (Matthew 5:41).
Gendered Pronouns and God
In a shallow sense, the Bible does present an instance of preferred pronouns when it comes to God. The Bible overwhelmingly uses masculine terminology for God, including frequent allusions to Him as “Father.” This is despite the fact that God is not literally male or female.
However, God’s preference for He and Him is not a reasonable parallel to the use of preferred pronouns as related to transgenderism. First and foremost, God does not claim to actually be a literal male or that using such pronouns implies that He is actually a literal male. Preferred pronouns, as applied to human beings, can suggest a gender different from what’s biologically or psychologically true. With God, this is not the case.
In contrast, those who dogmatically call God “her” or “she” are really referring to a different deity. In the same sense that a Muslim might use words like God or Allah but mean a being with a totally different nature, those who insist on using gender-neutral or female terms for God are effectively speaking of a completely different being from the biblical God.
Complications of the Fall
Human sin has resulted in a fallen world «Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: », (Romans 5:12). That sin, by its nature, confuses and complicates issues that God has otherwise made clear (Romans 1:21-22). Unfortunately, issues such as preferred pronouns create difficult choices for Christians. While followers of Christ want to be loving, caring, and peaceful.
Enable (1 Corinthians 13), it is also important to obey God rather than men «Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. », (Acts 5:29), and that includes speaking truth in love «but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: », (Ephesians 4:15) rather than avoiding controversy for the sake of social comfort (Hebrews 10:23;1 Thessalonians 5:21).
Where the balance of those concerns falls, in any given moment, is something for each believer to prayerfully and carefully consider.
