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Answer
What can a married couple do to ensure that their marriage will last? The first and most important issue is obedience to God and His Word. This is a principle that should be established before the marriage begins. God asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” «Can two walk together, except they be agreed? », (Amos 3:3). For the born-again believer, this means not initiating a close relationship with anyone who is not also a believer. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” «Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? », (2 Corinthians 6:14). If this one principle were followed, it would prevent a lot of heartache and suffering later in marriages.
Another principle that would safeguard the longevity of a marriage is that the husband should obey God and love, honor, and protect his wife as he would his own body (Ephesians 5:25-31). The corresponding principle is that the wife should obey God and submit to her own husband “as to the Lord” «Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. », (Ephesians 5:22). The marriage between a man and a woman is a representation of the relationship between Christ and the church. Christ gave Himself for the church, and He loves, honors, and protects her as His “bride” (Revelation 19:7-9).
Building on the foundation of a godly marriage, many couples discover practical ways to help nurture their marriages: spending quality time together; expressing love frequently; being kind; showing affection; giving compliments; going on dates; writing notes; exchanging gifts; and being willing to forgive, for instance. All these behaviors are encompassed by the Bible’s guidance for husbands and wives.
When God presented Eve to Adam in the first marriage, she was created from his “flesh and bone” «And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; », (Genesis 2:21) and they became “one flesh” (Genesis 2:23-24). Becoming one flesh entails more than just a physical union. It signifies a convergence of the mind and soul to create a single entity. This relationship transcends mere sensual or emotional attraction and enters the realm of spiritual “oneness” that is only achievable when both partners submit to God and each other. This relationship is not focused on “me and my” but on “us and our.” This is one of the keys to a lasting marriage.
Sustaining a lifelong marriage is a commitment that both partners must prioritize. Couples with enduring marriages honor their dedication to each other. Many couples make a conscious effort to never even mention divorce, even in moments of anger. Strengthening one’s vertical relationship with God significantly contributes to ensuring that the horizontal relationship between a husband and wife endures, honoring God.
A couple aspiring for a lasting marriage must learn how to address challenges. Prayer, Bible study, and mutual support are beneficial. Seeking external assistance is also acceptable; in fact, one of the church’s purposes is to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” «and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works» (Hebrews 10:24).To love and to do good works: », (Hebrews 10:24). A struggling couple should seek advice from an older Christian couple, a pastor, or a biblical marriage counselor.
