Is it right for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian?

Response

For a Christian to marry a non-Christian is not a viable choice if the Christian wishes to remain obedient to the Lord. Dating a non-Christian as a Christian is less problematic but still unwise, considering that the primary goal of dating is to find a spouse.

A Christian seeking marriage can find clear guidance in 2 Corinthians 6:14, which advises, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” This analogy originates from farming: if two incompatible animals share the same yoke, they will constantly work against each other. It is more beneficial to yoke together similar animals. This analogy has a spiritual implication: individuals united and working closely together should be of like nature and share similar spiritual aspirations. It is not advisable to align oneself with an unbeliever and expect positive outcomes.

To be precise, 2 Corinthians 6 does not explicitly mention marriage, but it certainly carries implications for it. What closer yoke exists than the bond of marriage? For a Christian to knowingly enter into a marital union with an unbeliever is to be “unequally yoked,” as phrased in the ESV. Instead of a heavenly match, it would be an earthly mismatch. The same passage pointedly questions, “What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?” «And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? », (2 Corinthians 6:15).

So, what about a Christian dating a non-Christian? They are not “yoked together,” so the directive of 2 Corinthians 6:14 may not directly apply. Nevertheless, there are other factors to consider:

Firstly, it is unwise for a Christian to date a non-Christian due to the purpose of dating. If dating serves as a precursor to marriage, then dating a non-Christian would lead to a dead-end relationship.

First, it is not advisable for a Christian to engage in a romantic relationship with a non-Christian. Since a biblical marriage would not be possible in such a scenario, there would be no valid reason for a Christian to pursue a romantic relationship with a non-believer. Remember, if you do not wish to catch a fish, refrain from casting your line into the water.

Secondly, matters of the heart often lead us to overlook other important aspects of life. This is evident in the stories of individuals like Samson, who despite his physical strength, repeatedly fell for the wrong women (Judges 14:1-3;16:4); and King Solomon, who despite his wisdom, allowed himself to be influenced into sinful behavior «When Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been. », (1 Kings 11:4). Romantic attachments possess a strong allure that can cloud judgment and compromise one’s commitment to God.

Thirdly, the Bible warns, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” «Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” », (1 Corinthians 15:33). While not all non-Christians necessarily exert a negative influence, there is a fundamental spiritual principle at play: light and darkness are incompatible «Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? », (2 Corinthians 6:14). The unbeliever represents “darkness,” while the believer is “light in the Lord.” As such, we are called to “live as children of light” «For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light», (Ephesians 5:8).At the very least, believers and unbelievers are likely to have different perspectives on what dating should entail. Entering into any form of intimate, romantic relationship with an unbeliever can lead to complications and the potential of hindering one’s spiritual journey with Christ.

Some Christians partake in “missionary dating,” where a Christian dates a non-Christian with the intention of guiding them towards faith in Christ. While evangelizing is a commendable objective, and there may be instances where individuals have found salvation through such relationships, it should not be the primary aim of dating. For the reasons discussed earlier, engaging in missionary dating is not advisable.

Deciding whether to pursue a relationship with a non-Christian involves not only a relational decision but also spiritual considerations concerning unwavering faith. It is acceptable and encouraged to cultivate meaningful friendships with non-believers, but it should not progress beyond that. As members of the Body of Christ «for we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. », (Romans 12:5), our most significant connections should be with fellow believers.

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