If I do not forgive others, does that mean my sins are not forgiven?

Response

Matthew 6 does not teach that our eternal destiny is determined by our forgiveness of others; however, it does emphasize that our connection with God will suffer if we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us. The Bible clearly states that God forgives sin through His grace, which is based solely on Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, not on human deeds. Our righteousness before Him is solely established on the completed work of Christ (John 3:16;1 John 2:2;1 John 4:10). The penalty for our sins is paid by Christ, and we receive it through grace by faith, not by our own righteous acts (Ephesians 2:8-9). No one can demand that their sins be forgiven by God simply because they have forgiven others. Only through being born again and receiving a new life through faith in Jesus Christ by God’s Spirit are our sins forgiven. Therefore, Jesus is not talking about God’s initial forgiveness (reconciliation) that we receive when we first accept the Gospel.

What He is referring to is the daily cleansing we receive when we confess our sins to restore fellowship with our heavenly Father—a fellowship that is disrupted by the daily impact of sin that affects us all. This is not the complete cleansing from sin that comes with salvation through grace by faith, but more like the foot-washing Jesus mentions in John 13:10. “The whole body is clean,” He told the disciples, but their feet were dirty from walking in the world. Forgiveness in this context is what God warns of withholding.

From Christians who refuse to forgive others.

In Matthew 6, Jesus is teaching disciples how to pray and outlines how we are restored into intimacy with God whenever we have displeased Him. Jesus instructs us to include in our prayers a request for God to forgive us in the same way that we have forgiven others who have harmed us, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12). If there are those we have not forgiven when we pray for forgiveness, then practically speaking, we are asking God not to restore a right relationship with us after we sin. To emphasize the importance of restoring broken relationships with our brothers and sisters, Jesus states that asking for God’s forgiveness for one’s own sins while withholding forgiveness from someone else is not only bizarre but hypocritical. We cannot walk with God in true fellowship if we refuse to forgive others.

An unforgiving spirit is a serious sin and should be confessed to God. If we have unforgiveness in our hearts against someone else, then we are acting in a way that is not pleasing to God, making our prayers and a proper living relationship with Him difficult. God will not hear our prayers unless we also show ourselves ready to grant forgiveness. To quote John Calvin on this verse, “If we are not harder than iron, this exhortation ought to soften us and render us disposed to forgive offenses” (Commentary on Matthew, Mark, and Luke, Vol. 1).

A second biblically plausible interpretation of Matthew 6:14-15 is that anyone who refuses to forgive others is demonstrating that he has not truly received Christ’s forgiveness himself. Any sin committed against us, no matter how terrible, is trivial compared to our sins against God. If God has forgiven us so much, how could we refuse to forgive others for so “little”? According to this view, Matthew 6:14-15 conveys this message.Ew, proclaims that anyone who harbors unforgiveness against others has not truly experienced God’s forgiveness. Both interpretations strongly deny that salvation is dependent on our forgiving others. Whether Matthew 6:14-15 is speaking of “relational forgiveness,” or whether it is a declaration that unforgiveness is the mark of an unbeliever, the core truth is the same. We should forgive others because God, through Christ, has forgiven us «and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.», (Ephesians 4:32). It is wrong for someone who has truly experienced God’s forgiveness to refuse to grant forgiveness to others.