I want a baby, but my spouse does not. What do we do?

Answer

The Bible proclaims that children are a blessing. Psalm 127:3 states, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” This stands in contrast to how many in the world perceive children—as an obstacle and a burden. Children should not be seen as a drawback.

The reluctance to have children can sometimes originate from selfish motives. Certain individuals opt out of having children because they prioritize themselves, their careers, and their finances. They are unwilling to be “tied down” or sacrifice their luxurious cars, houses, or vacations. This mindset is sinful. Others refrain from having children due to concerns about their ability to parent effectively or provide for the child adequately. Some are apprehensive about the process of childbirth itself. God is capable of addressing these fears. For some, the aversion to having children is linked to past painful experiences. God can bring healing to these wounds. For others, the decision to not have children may stem from entirely different reasons.

Without understanding the rationale behind not desiring children, it is challenging to ascertain whether these feelings are “wrong.” Are there underlying health issues? Are there unresolved childhood traumas? These are matters that should be openly discussed between spouses, and if necessary, Christian marriage counseling should be considered.

As Christians, our primary allegiance should be to God, who affirms that children are a blessing. Following that, the most crucial relationship is with our spouse. If having children is of great importance to one spouse, it should be seriously considered, approached with respect and submission (see Ephesians 5:21-33). From a practical standpoint, this is a topic that should be thoroughly addressed before marriage.

By dedicating ourselves to prayer, reading the Bible, and meditation, God can guide us.

God will disclose His plan if we prioritize Him. Romans 12:2 states, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”