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Addictions are prevalent in the 21st century. Drug addiction, in particular, can have devastating effects on lives and marriages. Drugs dominate every moment of the addict’s life, whether they are addicted to illegal street drugs or lawful prescriptions. The physical and psychological dependence is genuine and painful. For spouses of drug addicts, the pain is different. Drug addiction impacts their finances, time, and emotional well-being. They may feel powerless to prevent the addicted spouse from ruining everything important to them. However, drug addiction is not specifically addressed in biblical guidelines for divorce, so what options does a spouse have?
Many modern situations are not directly covered in Scripture, so we must apply relevant biblical principles. For instance, cell phones and the Internet did not exist when the Bible was written, yet we can find principles that guide their use (see Psalm 101:3 and Matthew 6:33). It may be surprising to some that the Bible does address drug use. When it does, it is consistently linked with sorcery and witchcraft.
The Greek word pharmakeia, mentioned in Galatians 5:20 and Revelation 18:23, translates to “sorcery,” specifically referring to “the use of drugs and medicines associated with spells.” The term pharmakeia is the origin of our words pharmaceuticals and pharmacy. Pharmaceuticals are connected to witchcraft because magicians and witches used potions in casting spells or curses. The mind-altering substances placed the user under the control of the magician. Any involvement with pharmakeia was strongly condemned in the Bible. In Galatians 5:20, drug addiction is listed alongside idolatry and hatred as sins that enslave people and hinder them from the kingdom of God.
If a Christian is married to a drug addict who refuses to overcome the addiction, it may be reasonable to assume that the addict is not truly born again (John 3:3-6). The essence of saving faith is placing oneself under the Holy Spirit’s control. Though Christians still sin, their allegiance is to God, and their desire is to honor Him with their lives (1 John 1:8-9; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Ephesians 5:18). By definition, drug addiction is placing oneself under the control of a chemical substance. We cannot be controlled simultaneously by two forces « No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. », (Matthew 6:24). Drug addiction is not a “disease” as society often describes it. It is sin. Drug addiction may feel overpowering to the addict, but it is an ongoing choice. Running to a substance or behavior that controls one’s life is a form of idolatry, and idolaters will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Revelation 21:8).
A spouse’s ultimate concern must be for the salvation of the addicted husband or wife. Prayer is powerful «Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. », (James 5:16), but is that all God expects of someone who is married to an addict? Matthew 18:15–17 instructs us about what to do if an addict professes to follow Jesus but continues in his addiction. First, confront the addict. If ignored, take someone with you to confront again. If the addict refuses to listen, tell the church. If the sin continues, cut off contact. These steps, especially the last one, may be altered somewhat between a married couple.
, but with godly oversight, a spouse can apply these principles and pray for God to use the tough-love approach to bring the addict to repentance.
After following all these steps and if the addict still refuses to seek help, physical separation may be necessary. Separation is not divorce, but it could be the catalyst the addict requires to seek assistance. While under the influence of drugs, addicts often have little awareness of the impact of their substance abuse on their loved ones. It is typically only when they face the loss of everything that they seek help. If the addict is a true follower of Jesus, they have the Holy Spirit to help them overcome the idolatry of drug abuse.
If the addict does not profess to be a believer, it might be time to refer to 1 Corinthians 7:15. A Christian spouse can establish healthy boundaries for the household. If the addict refuses to respect those boundaries, the spouse is free to leave. For instance, a spouse could say, “This home has become unbearable due to your drug addiction. Neither I nor our children can continue living like this. I cannot control your actions, but I refuse to witness you harm yourself or others. Therefore, if you return home under the influence or attempt to bring drugs into our house, I will involve the authorities. If you drive with our children while intoxicated, I will report you for child abuse.” These boundaries may seem strict, but they are necessary when dealing with the irrational behavior caused by drugs. Often, an addict must reach rock bottom before being willing to seek help. If, even after hitting rock bottom, the addict still refuses help, at least they are no longer in the home, away from a grieving spouse and vulnerable children.
Enabling drug addiction is a common error made by spouses. Enabling occurs when we conceal someone’s sin, fail to hold them accountable, or downplay the consequences of their actions. Enablers convince themselves they are providing “assistance,” when in reality, they are only deepening the addict’s dependence. Picture a ten-foot wall that someone must climb to become who God created them to be.
Help is a hand up that elevates a person until they can progress independently. Enabling involves allowing someone to harm themselves by not intervening, resulting in no improvement for anyone involved.
Spouses of individuals struggling with substance abuse face tough choices, but it is important to understand that enforcing healthy boundaries can be the most caring action. When those around an addict refuse to enable their behavior, the addict stands a better chance of conquering their addiction. Consequences are used by God to impart lessons. Fools fail to learn and repeat their mistakes, as stated in «As a dog returneth to his vomit, So a fool returneth to his folly.» (Proverbs 26:11). However, wise individuals recognize the cost of indulging their desires, establish boundaries, remain accountable to others, and seek community support in their battle.
A spouse of an addict will provide encouragement, support, admiration, and solace as long as the addict is seeking help and turning to God. They will urge the addicted partner to undergo counseling to address the emotional void being filled by drugs. Attending recovery meetings, seeking pastoral guidance, and praying are all part of the process. Nonetheless, they are not obligated to let the addiction harm the family, impact the children, or diminish their own productivity. The spouse of an addict lives with the belief that Jesus came to offer abundant life, as stated in «The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.» (John 10:10), not bondage.
