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Response
The issue of dating during the divorce process is challenging to address for various reasons. Firstly, the concept of “dating” as we understand it today is not mentioned in the Bible. In ancient times, marriages were typically arranged, and interactions between potential spouses were closely supervised. Furthermore, regardless of one’s stance on divorce, it is crucial to recall Malachi 2:16: “‘I hate divorce,’ declares the LORD, the God of Israel” (NAS). According to the Bible, marriage is a lifelong commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” «Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. », (Matthew 19:6). The decision to divorce should not be taken lightly.
There are three scenarios in which dating during the divorce process may arise. The first scenario involves a spouse with biblical grounds for divorce. This means that the innocent spouse has been abandoned by their unbelieving partner or has been betrayed by an unrepentant adulterer. In such cases, the innocent spouse is likely experiencing emotional turmoil and vulnerability. Individuals going through a divorce, even if they are not at fault and have valid biblical reasons, are typically devastated by the situation and are not in a suitable state to start “dating.” People often do not make sound decisions when they are on the rebound. It is neither wise nor prudent for a recently divorced individual or someone undergoing a painful divorce to engage in dating. While the abandoned spouse may feel lonely, making rational, godly choices regarding relationships in such circumstances is challenging, if not impossible.
The second scenario where dating during the divorce process might occur is when a personDivorcing one’s spouse for non-biblical reasons is considered a spiritual failure according to God’s words, citing “hardness of heart” (Mark 10:1-12). Therefore, individuals involved in such divorces should focus on the Lord rather than seeking a replacement for their former spouse.
Another scenario where dating during the divorce process may arise is when one party is responsible for causing the divorce, known as the “guilty” party. Biblical allowances for remarriage after a divorce pertain to the innocent spouse with biblical grounds. There is no biblical provision for the remarriage of a spouse divorced for non-biblical reasons or for the one who instigated the divorce through adultery, abandonment, or other grounds. The Bible does not permit the “guilty” spouse to remarry, hence dating should be avoided.
Dating is intended for finding a spouse or seeking companionship with the opposite sex. Therefore, biblically speaking, a married individual, even amidst a pending divorce, should not engage in dating. Even the innocent victim of an undesired divorce remains married until the marriage is legally dissolved. Pursuing a dating relationship outside of marriage, even during divorce proceedings, can give the wrong impression. It is wiser to refrain from actions that could jeopardize one’s spiritual well-being or convey a casual attitude towards marriage.
