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Response
The Bible does not provide guidance on finding the “ideal spouse,” nor does it offer detailed advice on selecting the right marriage partner. However, God’s Word clearly instructs us not to marry someone who does not share our faith (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). First Corinthians 7:39 emphasizes that while we have the freedom to marry, we should choose partners who are pleasing to God, meaning fellow believers. The Bible does not offer specific guidelines on identifying the “right” person for marriage.
Why doesn’t God outline the qualities to seek in a spouse? Why is there a lack of specifics on such a crucial matter? The Bible’s clarity on defining a Christian and outlining proper conduct renders detailed instructions unnecessary. Christians are expected to share core beliefs and values, and if both partners are dedicated to their marriage and following Christ, they possess the essential elements for a successful union. Nevertheless, given the prevalence of nominal Christians in society, it is prudent to exercise discernment before committing to marriage. Once a potential partner’s commitment to emulating Christ is evident, identifying and addressing specific aspects becomes more straightforward.
First and foremost, readiness for marriage is essential. It requires maturity to envision a lifelong commitment and to prioritize the well-being of the relationship over immediate desires. Marriage demands sacrifice and selflessness. Before tying the knot, a couple should familiarize themselves with the roles and responsibilities involved.Duties of a Husband and Wife (Ephesians 5:22-31; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16; Colossians 3:18-19; Titus 2:1-5; 1 Peter 3:1-7).
A couple should ensure they get to know each other for an adequate period before discussing marriage. They should observe how the other person responds to various situations, how they behave around their family and friends, and the type of people they spend time with. A person’s behavior is significantly influenced by those with whom they associate “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”, (1 Corinthians 15:33). They should reach an agreement on matters such as morality, finances, values, children, church attendance and involvement, relationships with in-laws, and employment. These are potential areas of conflict in marriage and should be thoughtfully considered in advance.
Ultimately, any couple contemplating marriage should initially attend premarital counseling with their pastor or another qualified Christian counselor. Here, they will acquire valuable tools for establishing their marriage on a foundation of faith in Christ, and they will also learn how to address inevitable conflicts. Once all these criteria have been fulfilled, the couple is prepared to prayerfully determine if they wish to be united in marriage. When we earnestly seek the will of God, He will guide our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).
