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Answer
There are various areas within a church where conflicts can arise. However, most of these issues typically fall into one of three categories: conflicts arising from evident sin among believers, conflicts with leadership, and conflicts between believers. It is worth noting that many problems can overlap and involve multiple categories.
Believers who openly engage in sin create conflicts for the church, as outlined in 1 Corinthians 5. A church that neglects to address sin among its members will likely encounter further challenges. While the church is not meant to pass judgment on non-believers, it is expected to address and seek the restoration of believers who persist in unrepentant sin, such as those mentioned in 1 Corinthians 5:11: ” . . . anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler.” Such individuals should not be embraced by the church until they demonstrate a willingness to repent. Matthew 18:15-17 outlines a clear process for confronting and restoring a believer. Confrontation should be approached with care, humility, and the aim of restoration «Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. », (Galatians 6:1). Churches that lovingly discipline individuals who sin can prevent a significant amount of conflict within the church.
Occasionally, believers may express dissatisfaction with the direction or actions of church leaders. This scenario occurred early in the church’s history (Acts 6:1-7). Concerns regarding the neglect of a particular group within the church were brought to the attention of the leaders. This issue was addressed, leading to growth within the church «And the word of God increased; and the number of the disciples multiplied in JeJerusalem greatly; and a large group of the priests were obedient to the faith.” , (Acts 6:7). The early church used a conflict to enhance the ministry. However, when churches lack a clear process for addressing such issues, individuals tend to establish their own platforms. People may start surveying others in the church, engage in gossip, or even form a group of “concerned individuals.” Leadership can prevent this by leading as selfless, loving shepherds who serve as examples of servants rather than those who dominate others (1 Peter 5:1-3). Those who are frustrated should show respect to the leaders “Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.” , (Hebrews 13:7,17) “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.” , (Hebrews 13:7,17), be slow to accuse them “Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.” , (1 Timothy 5:19), and speak the truth lovingly to them, not about them to others “but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.” , (Ephesians 4:15). In cases where it seems the leader is not addressing the concern, an individual should follow the process outlined in Matthew 18:15-17 to ensure clarity on each
stands.
The Bible warns that people in church may face conflicts. Some conflicts arise from pride and selfishness (James 4:1-10). Other conflicts stem from unforgiven offenses (Matthew 18:15-35). God instructs us to pursue peace (Romans 12:18;Colossians 3:12-15). It is each believer’s duty to seek conflict resolution. Some fundamental steps towards resolution include the following:
1. Cultivate the right heart attitude – Meek “Brethren, if a man is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” , (Galatians 6:1); Humble “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” , (James 4:10); Forgiving “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” , (Ephesians 4:31,32); Patient “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” , (James 1:19,20) “because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” , (James 1:19,20)).
2. Evaluate your part in the conflict – Matthew 7:1-5 (Removing the log from your own eye first is necessary before helping others).
3. Go to the individual (not to others) to voice your concern – Matthew 18:15. This is best done in love «but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: », (Ephesians 4:15) and not just to get something off your chest. Accusing the person tends to encourage defensiveness. Therefore, address the problem rather than the person. This gives the person a better opportunity to clarify the situation or seek forgiveness for the offense.
4. If the first attempt does not accomplish the needed results, continue with another person or persons who can help with mediation «But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. », (Matthew 18:16). Remember that your goal is not to win an argument; it is to win your fellow believer to reconciliation. Therefore, choose people who can assist you in resolving the conflict.
Conflict is best handled when individuals prayerfully and humbly focus on loving others, with the intent of restoring relationships. Most conflict issues should be manageable if the above biblical principles are followed. However, there are times when specific outside counsel may help. We recommend utilizing resources such as the PeaceMaker Ministries – http://peacemaker.net.
