English
Português
Español
Français
Answer
Note: Like many psychological issues, personality disorders often involve both physical and spiritual aspects. While psychologists may overlook the spiritual dimension of these disorders, we strongly recommend that anyone struggling with mental illness seek medical help and counseling.
Answer:
Generally, individuals with personality disorders exhibit a pattern of thinking and behavior that contradicts the fundamental norms of their society. Personality disorders can have a detrimental impact on a person’s life and typically emerge during adolescence or early adulthood. Many individuals with personality disorders also experience other mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a significant mental health condition that was once considered untreatable due to its disruptive nature. BPD is characterized by instability in interpersonal relationships, issues with self-image, intense emotions, and impulsive actions. Two key deficiencies associated with BPD are a lack of self-awareness and an inability to recognize one’s worth to others. A common phrase used to describe BPD is “I hate you—don’t leave me.”
Individuals with borderline personality disorder often struggle with a weak sense of self-identity. This can result in various reactions, including low self-esteem, a belief in their own malevolence, feelings of emptiness, and even dissociative episodes triggered by stress. These characteristics may lead to drastic and impulsive changes in careers, sexual identities, and/or values.
Due to their struggle to find self-worth and maintain a stable environment, individuals with borderline personality disorder seek validation from others. However, this quest is fraught with peril as it combines with a fear (real or perceived) of abandonment. Individuals with BPD encounter significant challenges in understanding others and tend to interpret even minor actions as signs of
Benign social situations such as rejection, disrespect, or abuse can trigger individuals with borderline personality disorder. They yearn for love and approval from others, often fixating on a single person whom they believe can fulfill all their emotional needs. However, if this idealized individual fails to offer consistent support, those with borderline personality disorder swiftly experience disillusionment. Consequently, they develop a fear of abandonment and harbor beliefs of being unworthy of love or inherently bad. This cycle may involve intense episodes of anger followed by guilt, reinforcing their negative self-perception.
Borderline personality disorder poses challenges to maintaining stable relationships. Efforts to attain inner peace often result in impulsive behaviors like substance abuse, gambling, or binge eating. Individuals with this disorder face elevated risks of self-harm and suicide. The fluctuation between idealizing and being disappointed in relationships, leading to outbursts of anger, significantly hampers their ability to sustain healthy and enduring connections. Despite their high intelligence, individuals with borderline personality disorder struggle to shift their perspectives through logical arguments.
Causes of Borderline Personality Disorder
The mental health field has encountered difficulties in pinpointing the exact causes of borderline personality disorder. A strong genetic predisposition exists, with direct relatives being five times more likely to develop the disorder. Traumatic experiences or (real or perceived) instances of abandonment during childhood, left unaddressed, coupled with physiological or psychological factors, are believed to contribute to its onset. Some theories suggest that neglected children oscillate between seeking attention through misbehavior and compliance, escalating their behavior when attention is lacking until reaching a point of instability. Borderline personality disorder manifests in individuals who have experienced such childhood dynamics.
I had loving, supportive parents.
Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder can have a significant impact on one’s personality, but it tends to mellow with age and experience. Medications have minimal effect, although they may be prescribed for secondary issues such as anxiety. Some individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder who are Christians have found ways to manage their symptoms by focusing on the sinful nature of their reactive behavior. When experiencing anger and resentment, they release those feelings to God. When feeling empty, they recall their identity in Christ. This process demands considerable effort and spiritual support. Alleviating the symptoms of BPD is a challenging task.
In recent years, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has proven to be highly beneficial for certain individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder, potentially expediting the learning curve that typically comes with experience. DBT teaches individuals how to interpret and engage with reality as it is, rather than as it feels. It assists patients in pausing to logically assess their experiences, distinguishing between harmful and normal experiences, and learning to express their needs directly without resorting to manipulation. It incorporates a form of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that helps patients modify core beliefs that trigger undesirable behaviors. While Dialectical Behavior Therapy lacks a specific biblical foundation, it aids those with troubled minds in interpreting and engaging with God’s creation in a more biblical manner—for instance, by taking every thought captive, “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and being slow to anger, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;” (James 1:19).
For Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder
There are a couple of aspects of borderline personality disorder that make the Christian journey particularly challenging. When overwhelmed by feelings of failure and worthlessness, it can be tempting to perceive these thoughts as God’s perspective rather than a manifestation of the disorder. The rapid shift to a victim mentality complicates matters, as basic religious practices may be viewed as oppressive or even abusive. It is crucial to recognize that BPD can lead you to react in ungodly, sinful manners. Those with BPD who are Christian must bear in mind that God’s Word holds more truth than our flawed interpretations, and His directives are righteous, whereas our natural inclinations are flawed, even if they seem justified. As stated in 1 Corinthians 13, love is patient and kind, not easily provoked or self-centered. Love does not insist on its own way, nor does it harbor resentment. It endures and perseveres through hardships without shifting blame onto others. Being loving involves entrusting your needs to God and refraining from expecting others to provide what only Christ can «But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. », (Philippians 4:19).
Borderline personality disorder is a severe condition that distorts your self-perception, relationships with others, and worldview. Remind yourself of the truth: God loves you, sometimes in ways that may not be immediately apparent. Jesus sacrificed Himself for your sins, and if you have embraced Him, God views you as blameless. Emotions, particularly those intensified or influenced by misinterpreted events, do not always reflect reality.
God will never forsake you or leave you «Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. », (Hebrews 13:5).
(Hebrews 13:5). If you seek God, you will find Him “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”, (Jeremiah 29:13). If you seek first God’s perspective and His reality, you will subsequently find what you need “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”, (Matthew 6:33).
For Friends and Family of Those with Borderline Personality Disorder
The highly personalized, rigid worldview and great emotional needs of someone with borderline personality disorder adversely affect loved ones. When God doesn’t come through in the exact way the person wants (which is inevitable when childhood abuse or abandonment is involved), anger flares, and God is rejected. It can be extremely difficult to speak of God’s love and grace to someone who is convinced he is worthless unless he sees you loving him in the way he wants. Prayer is always the first step for any friend or family member of someone with BPD
The next step is to get educated. People with borderline personality disorder need friends with strong hearts and stronger boundaries. Boundaries define what behaviors the friend will tolerate (such as the hours they will pick up the phone) and should reflect the boundaries given in the Bible. Consistently but lovingly pointing out the natural consequences of sinful behavior will help the person with BPD remember the Bible has a truth that is not always accessible to the over-emotional mind. These limits are essential to protect the mental health of the friends so they can continue to be supportive.
Family and friends also need to be able to speak truth repeatedly, offering alternatives for perceived malicious motives or giving reminders that others have the right to have different perspectives.Different points of view and diverse needs must be acknowledged. It is important to recognize when a conversation is escalating beyond control and requires redirection. If the individual is undergoing DBT or CBT, friends should familiarize themselves with the fundamentals to support the therapy techniques.
Self-care for friends and family involves occasional reminders of their own reality when their loved one with BPD reacts with anger and blame. It is worth considering that some individuals with BPD may resort to habitual lying as a coping mechanism to avoid abandonment. Additionally, it is crucial to remember that during times of intense emotions, individuals, both with and without BPD, may present an inaccurate view of the situation. Taking a moment to breathe and centering your heart on God can help maintain stability amidst apparent chaos. Friends and family should also contemplate seeking external support for themselves, including a counselor if necessary, to ensure that caregivers are also cared for.
Borderline Personality Disorder and Redemption
The Bible’s assurance is unequivocal: “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
Emotional scars, cognitive limitations, past traumas, and emotions—none of these are potent enough to obstruct God’s love from shining upon those who have faith in Christ. Our salvation is grounded in Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, not in our shattered emotions. All believers require reminders of God’s benevolence and Jesus’ sacrifice and love; individuals with BPD simply need these reminders more frequently. Every believer needs a supportive community for encouragement and admonition; individuals with BPD require a particularly steadfast community.
The offer of God’s redemption reveals one more truth for both the individual with BPD and their loved ones: forgiveness.eness. If you suffer from BPD, you must learn to forgive those who do not meet your expectations, whether those expectations are legitimate or unrealistic. If you know someone with BPD, you must learn to forgive the neediness, lies, and volatile emotional outbursts. For either person, you may need to spend some time apart, but do so as an opportunity to seek guidance and support from God, not out of anger. “Love covers all offenses” «Hatred stirreth up strifes: But love covereth all sins. », (Proverbs 10:12, ESV). As Jesus said, we are to forgive our brother seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22). Our Lord is exceptionally experienced in forgiveness and can equip us to follow His lead.
