Answer
A Christian should relate to non-Christian friends in the same way Jesus related to those who did not follow Him. We can observe a few ways Jesus interacted with people and emulate Him as we engage with our non-Christian friends:
1. Jesus was kind, even when people didn’t understand Him. People were often confused about who Jesus was and why He was among them. However, Mark 6:34 mentions that when He “saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.” When faced with challenges from the arrogant, He responded with kindness (Luke 10:25-26). When the needy sought Him, He responded with kindness (Luke 8:43-48). Even when Roman soldiers and religious zealots took His life, He responded with kindness «Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. », (Luke 23:34).
Jesus was willing to endure being misunderstood so that He could exhibit patience and kindness towards non-Christians while explaining how to establish a relationship with God. We must bear in mind that as His followers, we will also face misunderstanding. Jesus cautioned us, “If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you” «If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. », (John 15:18). Even when faced with hatred or misunderstanding, we should always respond with kindness.
2. Jesus consistently spoke the truth. Even when His life was in danger, Jesus always spoke the truth (Matthew 26:63-65). When we are surrounded by non-Christians, we too should always speak the truth.Christians who do not worship God or uphold our values, it is tempting to remain silent or compromise Scripture to avoid causing offense. This can be observed at times with well-known Christians when they are questioned about topics like homosexuality or abortion. Instead of firmly standing on the truth of God’s Word, some yield to peer pressure.
The strong inclination to please those around us is a common human struggle. However, as Christians, we are called to be “salt and light” in this dark, tasteless world (Matthew 5:13-16). We should not force our views on others (refer to point 1 above), but we should also not compromise the truth. Jesus spoke the necessary words regardless of the personal cost. He communicated what people needed to hear. We are called to do the same.
Jesus never wavered in His identity. Despite being surrounded by non-Christians daily, Jesus did not allow culture or opinions to change who He was. Not even Satan could shake Him (Matthew 4:1-10). Jesus was aware of His purpose and identity. As Christians, we must be firm in our identities in Christ so that even the most vocal opponent cannot unsettle us. Jesus interacted with non-Christians regularly, yet He never compromised His identity as the Son of God and could truthfully say, “I always do what pleases [the Father]” «And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him. », (John 8:29).
Jesus understood His purpose «And he said unto them, Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also: for therefore came I forth. », (Mark 1:38). One significant danger to our own souls in associating with non-Christians is the risk of losing sight of our true purpose.
Purpose. The world does not share our biblical values and is eager to draw us away from devotion to Christ. While we can enjoy friendships with non-Christians, we must do so with the awareness that we are citizens of another kingdom. We are here as ambassadors for the King (Ephesians 2:19; Philippians 3:20; 2 Corinthians 5:20). We can participate in activities and relationships with unbelievers, but only to a point. We must be ready to say a polite, “No, thank you,” when asked to step outside our purpose. It may not be outright sin we are encouraged to pursue, but many other things can lure us away from pure devotion to Christ «But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. », (2 Corinthians 11:3). Materialism, secular assessments, temporal values, leisure, entertainment: all can threaten or topple a Christian’s pursuit of purpose. When we keep our eyes on the prize—as Jesus did—our relationships with non-Christians can be enjoyable and fruitful for both them and us (Hebrews 12:1-2).
Jesus was selective about His closest companions. Despite the fact that Jesus interacted constantly with non-believers, He reserved His most intimate connection with His hand-picked disciples. Even among the disciples, He chose three—Peter, James, and John—to share the most private times in His life. Only those three witnessed His transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-9). It was those three who accompanied Him to the Garden of Gethsemane the night of His arrest (Mark 14:33-34).
. The model Jesus gave us is that of selective intimacy in relationships. While we are to be kind to everyone, serving in any way we can, we should be cautious about those we allow to get close to us. Our closest friends carry significant influence and can steer our hearts away from God’s plan for our lives.
If Jesus had to be cautious about those He allowed to get close to Him, we must be cautious as well. We need to seek out those who share our faith and our love for the Lord, remembering that “we are the temple of the living God” (see 2 Corinthians 6:14-16). We can love and serve our non-Christian friends as a way of honoring God and showing how much God also loves them.