How can I restore my marriage?

Answer

Since the desire to mend a marriage relationship can arise from various reasons, let’s explore the fundamental principles that the Bible presents for relationships in general, with a focus on marriage.

The starting point is the personal one-on-one relationship between an individual, whether man or woman, and the Lord Jesus Christ. As believers who have been born again, the success of any relationship with others is directly linked to the quality of our personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. When we are out of sync with the Lord due to sin or attitudes that contradict divine perspective, we discover that we are also out of harmony with ourselves, which then affects our relationships with others. Therefore, the initial step is to restore our relationship and fellowship with the Lord by aligning with His perspective and embracing the forgiveness available to us in Christ Jesus “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”, (1 John 1:9).

The above assumes that one has a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ through being born again. This involves experiencing a new life by accepting salvation and the gift of eternal life offered to us in Christ. If an individual has not taken this step, then the primary concern is not about biblical principles but rather about their eternal salvation or redemption. This website provides a valuable resource to assist individuals in finding the path to repentance and receiving the gift of life in Christ.

For the believer who has been born again, forgiveness is both a position and a privilege that we possess in Christ. And because of this forgiveness, we are instructed to forgive others. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”«And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.», (Ephesians 4:32). If we are believers, we are forgiven “in Christ,” and “in Christ” we also forgive others. No relationship can be restored without forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice we make based on the reality of our forgiven state.

For the marriage relationship, the Bible has given us a clear model that is contrary to the world’s viewpoint. To restore a marriage relationship after forgiveness has been given and received, applying God’s model will start to bring the two separate parties into a God-honoring union. This requires a choice from both parties. There is an old saying, “you cannot use what you do not know.” Therefore, to learn God’s model for marriage, we must look into God’s Word.

God ordained the first marriage in the Garden of Eden between Adam and Eve. When sin entered due to their disobedience, that perfect union was destroyed. Subsequently, God told Eve that Adam would be her “head” to rule over her «Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. », (Genesis 3:16). (Compare 1 Corinthians 11:3;Ephesians 5:22;Titus 2:5;1 Peter 3:5-6:) This “rule” has been challenged by the modern liberal women’s movement and has brought untold unhappiness to those who believe the “lie.” There is also the human viewpoint that “all are equal.” In a way, that is true. We all have equal access to salvation in Christ Jesus «There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is nNeither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28). However, claiming that everyone in the world has equal human opportunities, abilities, or power is simplistic. God had a purpose in placing wives under the authority of their husbands. Due to sin, this authority has been both misused and rebelled against, resulting in chaos within the home and family. Nevertheless, God does not excuse the husband. The husband is instructed to “love his wife as he loves his own body” “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”, (Ephesians 5:28). In reality, the husband bears the greater responsibility in the marriage model. The woman is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord; however, husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25-29).

There is also a passage in 1 Corinthians 7 that establishes some principles and offers practical, personal, Spirit-led advice about marriage from the Apostle Paul. This is all based on the assumption that the individuals are born-again believers. This passage addresses adultery, fornication, remaining single and pure, or— in order to avoid the dangers of passion and fornication— getting married.

God’s marriage model is effective, but it requires commitment from both parties to establish a relationship with a balance of each individual’s obedience to God and walking in fellowship with the Lord. It does not happen overnight. Usually, if a marriage relationship has deteriorated, there are issues that need to be forgiven and left behind in order to progress, and once again, this requires a choice and commitment. Unwillingness from either party will result in no restoration. The overarchingThe issue lies with each individual’s responsibility before the Lord and then gathering together before the Lord. Embracing forgiveness and fellowship would be an excellent beginning to restore the broken pieces.