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Answer
Should we actively search for a spouse or wait for God to provide us with one? There is an important balance between the two. We are not to frantically search for a spouse as if everything depends solely on our effort. Neither should we be entirely passive, assuming that someday God will cause a spouse to knock on the door, ring in hand, ready to recite the vows.
When the time came for Isaac to take a wife, he took action (or rather, his parents did, according to cultural norms): they sent a servant to actively seek a wife (Genesis 24). The servant had specific qualities that he was looking for, and he bathed the process in prayer (verses 12-14). The Lord answered the prayer, and Isaac and Rebekah were married (verse 67).
As Christians, once we discern that it is time to start looking for a spouse, we should initiate the process with prayer. Committing ourselves to God’s will for our lives is the first step. “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” «Delight thyself also in the LORD; And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. », (Psalm 37:4). Delighting in the Lord means finding pleasure in knowing Him and trusting that He will delight us in return. He will place His desires into our hearts. In the context of seeking a spouse, that means desiring for ourselves the type of spouse He desires for us and who He knows will further delight us. Proverbs 3:6 tells us, “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Acknowledging Him in the search for a spouse means submitting to His sovereign will. Whatever He decides is best is what we desire.
We should also be clear on the biblical characteristics of a godly husband or wife, and we should seek someone who meets those spiritual qualifications. It is crucial to understand these qualities first and then.
Seeking someone who possesses those qualities is crucial. To “fall in love” with someone and then discover that he or she is not spiritually qualified to be our mate can lead to heartache and put us in a challenging position.
Once we understand what the Bible teaches us to look for, we can actively search for a spouse, trusting that God will bring the right person into our lives at the perfect time. By praying, God will guide us to the individual He has chosen for us. It is essential to wait on the Lord and place our trust in Him “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; And lean not unto thine own understanding.”, (Proverbs 3:5).
Some individuals refer to a verse in 1 Corinthians 7 that appears to suggest that we should never seek a spouse. Verse 27 states, “Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.” While this may seem straightforward, the context offers additional crucial information. In verse 26, Paul mentions, “Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.” During the persecution that the early church faced, Paul advised against making significant plans, such as arranging a wedding. Persecution impacts a married couple more severely, especially if children are involved. Paul reiterates this idea in verse 29: “Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” Furthermore, in the same context, Paul states, “If you do marry, you have not sinned” (verse 28). Therefore, seeking a marriage partner is not inappropriate.
Naturally, it is unwise to search for a spouse if marriage is not within God’s will. At times, God calls individuals to remain unmarried (1 Corinthians 7). Some people have chosen to forgo marriage “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus affirms, “The one who can accept this should accept it” “For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be
There are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it. », (Matthew 19:12). In those circumstances, God makes it clear that it is His will.
