If marriage is so difficult, why should I even consider it?

Answer

“Marriage should be honored by all” «Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. », (Hebrews 13:4). A biblical marriage, which involves one man and one woman in a loving, lifelong commitment, is an honorable and godly institution. Trends may come and go, and the world may have its prejudices, but God’s design for marriage remains the cornerstone of society.

Regrettably, some individuals are losing faith in marriage as an institution. Some, including those who identify as Christians, belittle marriage as “a fool’s game” destined for regret. Others adopt a disillusioned perspective, believing that making a lifelong commitment is reckless because the partner will inevitably change—we cannot predict our spouse’s future self in twenty, or even five, years. They might become a completely different individual—should we be bound by a vow made in our youth?

If marriage were solely meant to fulfill the personal desires of a man or woman, then, and only then, labeling holy matrimony as “foolish” could be justified. However, a godly marriage is not self-centered. The marriage vow is not a lifelong expectation to receive love. It is a pledge to give love. Marriage is a commitment to selflessly love for a lifetime. It is a decision to live for the well-being of the other person, to support and stand by the beloved. To give endlessly, even to the extent of sacrificing one’s own life «Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; », (Ephesians 5:25).

At a more fundamental level, marriage was not created by man but by God. When God created humanity as male and female, placed them in Eden, and united them in marriage, He had a purpose in mind. The most fundamental purpThe purpose of marriage was that it would bring forth more individuals who bear God’s name and reflect His image (Genesis 1:26-28; 2:22-24). Human reproduction was God’s initial mandate for Adam and Eve when they were united. Marriage, which is God’s primary institution, is intended to serve as the cornerstone of the family unit.

Moreover, in order to fully reflect the complete image of God, humanity was created in two genders, “male and female” “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (Genesis 1:27). The complete reflection of God’s nature in humanity necessitates the presence of both genders, man and woman. Marriage is the mechanism through which these two genders are most closely linked. When a man and a woman are joined in marriage, they collectively portray an image of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-32). Marriage encompasses far more than just romantic happiness, companionship, or sexual intimacy.

Believers discover true joy in their marital partnership when God is their guiding force. While the honeymoon phase will end, and both partners may reveal differences from their courtship days, and eventually, both spouses may find aspects of each other disappointing. People evolve, and not always for the better. However, God had a brilliant idea when He established marriage—“very good,” as stated in Genesis 1:31. God even employs marriage as a symbol of His relationship with His people (Hosea 2:19-20).

Marriage will expose weaknesses in each person. Trials and difficulties will arise. The strength of the vows will be put to the test. Nevertheless, we live by faith “(for we walk by faith, not by sight:)” (2 Corinthians 5:7).(2 Corinthians 5:7). Marriage is God’s institution for mankind. If He invented it, designed it to fulfill His purposes, and is in it, then it is good. We should not abandon the idea of marriage just because some people have not received what they expected. After all, it is not the takers of this world who find fulfillment, but the givers «I have shown you all things, how that by laboring you ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. », (Acts 20:35). Those who, by God’s grace, emulate the self-sacrificial giving of Christ will find marriage to be good. It will cost something—actually, it will cost everything! But, it is in giving of ourselves that we find the highest meaning of life in Christ.

None of this means that every believer must marry. God knows that it is better for some not to marry, and some situations make marriage undesirable. See 1 Corinthians 7. A single person gives self-sacrificial love in other ways and still reflects the character of God. Marriage is not for all, but marriage itself is a godly institution that should be held in esteem.

Marriage should not be miserable, and it won’t be if we understand what God intends marriage to be and follow His instructions. A godly, biblical marriage provides a lifetime of opportunities for two people to bless each other and their family in the name of Jesus Christ. Our Lord blessed His friends’ wedding at Cana with His joyful support (John 2:1-5), and He still blesses the marital union today.