What does it mean that husbands are to love their wives?

Response

Ephesians 5:25–33 provides essential guidance for husbands in their relationship with their wives. Verse 25 issues the fundamental command: “Husbands, love your wives.” In case of any doubt, the Greek term for “love” here is a form of agape. Husbands are instructed to love their wives with the kind of love that God demonstrates—selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. For a husband to truly love his wife, he must genuinely seek her best interests and be willing to strive for that, regardless of the personal cost.

The benchmark for how husbands should love their wives is clearly stated, and it sets a lofty standard: “Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” «Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it; », (Ephesians 5:25). Christ’s love led Him to the cross; a husband’s love for his wife will entail a similar self-sacrifice, even if it does not involve physical suffering. True love is characterized by a willingness to make sacrifices for the beloved. Marriage, as designed by God, requires husbands to be willing to make sacrifices for their wives.

The objective of husbands loving their wives is also discussed. Christ’s aim for the church (His “bride”) is “to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:26-27). While husbands cannot sanctify their wives in the same way Christ sanctifies the church, they can set the spiritual aspiration for their wives to become all that Christ desires them to be. Subsequently, husbands can, with love, strive to assist their wives in attaining that goal of becoming more like Christ. Husbands who love their wives recognize that they are “partners in the divine mission.”

Heirs of the Grace of Life” «Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. », (1 Peter 3:7, NASB).

The Bible also provides husbands with a practical way to assess the genuineness of their love for their wives: are they tending to their wives’ needs in a manner similar to how they care for themselves? “Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29). The principle of becoming one flesh is relevant here. Selfishness has no place in a marriage. Interestingly, as a husband meets his wife’s needs, he will discover that he also benefits. It is important to note that the benchmark for a husband’s love for his wife ultimately reflects Christ’s love for the church.

The rest of the passage in Ephesians 5 discusses the concept of leaving and cleaving (verse 31) and once again underscores the correlation between the marital relationship and the relationship of Christ and His church (verse 32).

Often, husbands focus on verse 22 of Ephesians 5: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” Sometimes, husbands take it upon themselves to ensure their wives submit to their authority. However, verse 22 is directed at wives specifically. Husbands are never instructed to enforce their wives’ submission. Instead, husbands are instructed to love their wives (verse 25). Verses 25 through 32 are directed at husbands, and that is where their attention should be.

What is a husband’s duty? To love his wife. Without selfishness, without reservation, and without cond.

Love her as Christ loved the church unto death (see John 13:1). Love her, seek her ultimate good, sacrifice for her well-being, give yourself to her wholeheartedly, and, when that is all done, love her even more.