When is the right time for marriage?

Answer

The ideal time for marriage varies for each individual and is unique to each circumstance. Levels of maturity and life experiences are determining factors; some individuals may be ready for marriage at 18, while others may never feel prepared for it. With the U.S. divorce rate surpassing 50 percent, it is evident that a significant portion of our society does not perceive marriage as a lifelong commitment. Nevertheless, this perspective aligns with the world’s view, which often contradicts God’s «Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seems to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. », (1 Corinthians 3:18).

Establishing a strong foundation is crucial for a prosperous marriage and should be solidified before embarking on a relationship or courtship with a potential life partner. Our Christian journey should encompass more than mere attendance at Sunday services and participation in Bible studies. It necessitates a personal connection with God that is attained through trust in and obedience to Jesus Christ. Prior to committing, we should familiarize ourselves with God’s perspective on marriage. It is essential to understand what the Bible communicates about love, commitment, intimacy, the roles of spouses, and His expectations of us. Additionally, having at least one Christian married couple as mentors is valuable. An experienced couple can provide insights on the components of a successful marriage, fostering intimacy (beyond the physical realm), the significance of faith, and more.

Furthermore, a couple considering marriage should ensure they have a deep understanding of each other. They should be aware of each other’s stances on marriage, finances, relationships with in-laws, child-rearing, responsibilities, and duties.

Issues to consider before marriage include the employment status of a husband and wife, whether one or both will work outside the home, and the spiritual maturity of each person. Many individuals enter marriage believing their partner is a Christian, only to discover later that it was mere lip service. Every couple contemplating marriage should undergo counseling with a Christian marriage counselor or pastor. In fact, numerous pastors require multiple counseling sessions with the couple before officiating the wedding.

Marriage signifies not only a commitment but also a covenant with God. It involves pledging to stay with one’s spouse for life, regardless of their financial status, health, physical appearance, or personality. A Christian marriage should withstand all challenges, such as conflicts, anger, tragedies, disasters, mental health issues, resentment, addictions, and solitude. Entering marriage with the notion of divorce as a viable option, even as a last resort, is discouraged. The Bible teaches us that through God, all things are achievable “And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” , (Luke 18:27), which includes the success of a marriage. If a couple commits to prioritizing God and remaining dedicated from the start, divorce does not have to be the inevitable resolution to marital challenges.

It is crucial to understand that God desires to fulfill our hearts’ desires, but this is only feasible when our desires align with His will. Many individuals marry because it feels right. In the initial stages of dating and marriage, seeing your partner can evoke butterflies in your stomach. Romance is intense, and the sensation of being “in love” is profound. However, many anticipate that this euphoria will last indefinitely, which is often not the case. Consequently, disappointment and divorce may result as these emotions wane, but those in successful marriages understand that love is a choice that requires effort and commitment.

Successful marriages understand that the thrill of being with each other does not have to fade. Instead, the initial excitement transforms into a deeper affection, a firmer dedication, a more stable groundwork, and an unshakable assurance.

The Bible emphasizes that love transcends mere emotions. This is evident when we are instructed to love our adversaries «But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. », (Luke 6:35). Genuine love blossoms only when we allow the Holy Spirit to operate within us, nurturing the fruits of our redemption (Galatians 5:22-23). It is a daily choice to relinquish our egos and selfishness, enabling God’s light to radiate through us. Paul guides us on loving others in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” When we are prepared to love someone as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, that is the opportune moment for marriage.