How and when should we overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11)?

Answer

Proverbs 19:11 teaches, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; / it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” To “overlook” an offense is to take no notice of wrongs done against oneself, to refuse to retaliate or seek revenge, to let affronts go, or, in a word, to forgive.

First, we can observe that the first half of the proverb focuses on self-control. The ESV puts it this way: “Good sense makes one slow to anger.” The NLT says, “Sensible people control their temper.” Patience, being slow to anger, and self-control are good virtues to possess. Patience and self-control are listed as part of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), an essential part of the Christian’s lifestyle. Our responses are to be reasonable and measured. We should increasingly grow in our ability to control ourselves when angry and overlook offenses when we can.

Second, we know that anger itself is not wrong but rather how we express it. James 1:19–20 states, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Offenses do come, and there are times when anger is called for, but anger should not be our first response in any given situation. Our goal is to control our expression of anger and, when possible, overlook an offense.

Third, the Bible calls us to not be easily angered. God Himself is “slow to anger” «The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet. », (Nahum 1:3), and we should be, too. A “slow fuse” is the product of wisdom and love. First Corinthians 13:5 says that love “is not easily angered, it keeps.”No record of wrongs.” To help us develop this self-control, we can carefully choose our friends: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered” “Make no friendship with an angry man; And with a furious man thou shalt not go:”, (Proverbs 22:24). Those who easily get angry demonstrate a lack of self-control.

Furthermore, God views it as “glory” to overlook an offense. Overlooking a wrongdoing towards oneself signifies maturity and grace. Forgiving others deserves respect. It is a victory for us to forgive and disregard injuries and offenses. Jesus instructed, “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” (Luke 17:3-4). Certainly, God has forgiven our sins for Christ’s sake; hence, forgiving others for Christ’s sake is a magnificent act.

Other proverbs also convey this message. Proverbs 17:9 states, “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense.” Proverbs 10:12 affirms, “Love covers over all wrongs.” We witness this virtue in David’s narrative. He chose not to retaliate against King Saul, despite the king’s attempts to kill him (see 1 Samuel 24:5-7). David also opted to ignore the curses (and other things) that Shimei directed at him (2 Samuel 16:5-14).

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; And it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”, (Proverbs 19:11).

Proverbs 19:11. Expressing this verse differently conveys the message: “A person’s foolishness leads to impatience; / it is shameful to refuse forgiveness.” Forgiveness is noble; retaliation is dishonorable.

Choosing to overlook an offense does not dismiss justice. It does not imply ignoring sin or denying the existence of evil. It signifies our willingness to forgive, particularly when we are the ones offended. It means we opt not to harbor resentments. Numerous trivial matters may vex us, but through God’s grace, we let them go. There are other, more significant issues that could wound us, but through God’s grace, we decide to forgive. And there are circumstances that demand a prompt, firm reaction, yet through God’s grace, we are slow to anger even as we halt the wrongdoing.

How can we achieve this overlooking of an offense? From a human perspective, it seems unattainable. However, God’s Spirit working in a believer’s life provides the ability to forgive any transgression. Jesus instructed us to pray in this manner: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” «And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. », (Matthew 6:12). We forgive because we have received forgiveness, recognizing that everyone has sinned and falls short of God’s glory «for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; », (Romans 3:23). With discernment, we distinguish what necessitates a reaction and what does not. With patience, we offer the other cheek «but I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. », (Matthew 5:39). With love, we opt to disregard the insults, slurs, and offenses directed at us.