Is abstinence before marriage a realistic message?

Answer

Many individuals in contemporary society have asserted that sexual morality is obsolete, claiming that abstinence is not practical but rather antiquated and outmoded. Is practicing abstinence before marriage even feasible in today’s “hook-up culture”?

God intended for sexual intimacy to be cherished within a committed marital union. When God united Adam and Eve in matrimony, He established the sacred bond of “one flesh” relationship. Genesis 2:24 states that a man shall leave his family, cleave to his wife, and become “one flesh” with her. There are numerous scriptures that denounce premarital sex as sinful (Acts 15:20;1 Corinthians 5:1;1 Corinthians 6:13,18;10:8;2 Corinthians 12:21;Galatians 5:19;Ephesians 5:3;Colossians 3:5;1 Thessalonians 4:3;Jude 7). The Bible mandates complete abstinence before marriage. Sexual relations between a husband and wife are the only form of intimate relations that God sanctions «Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. », (Hebrews 13:4).

God’s truth is timeless—not outdated or impractical. Nevertheless, adhering to God’s truth is not always simple! Abstaining from sex before marriage is often challenging and necessitates dedication, self-discipline, and some planning. In a way, it requires an individual to go against the norm in a “sexually liberated” society.

In reality, the philosophy of sexual liberation has brought about numerous adverse consequences in our society—such as pornography addiction, sexually transmitted infections, emotional harm, and widespread abortion. Many individuals in today’s society view a “hook-up” as the primary objective of the evening. Singles move from one club to another.Looking to connect with a stranger for casual sex. However, that is not the purpose of sex according to God’s design.

Blogger Matt Walsh explains this concept effectively: “Describing sex as ‘casual’ is like describing the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel as a ‘nice little doodle.’ . . . Those who belittle and devalue sex are often the ones who claim to be ‘sexually enlightened.’”

You might be in a committed relationship, possibly even engaged. In your case, sex would not be “casual”; nevertheless, God desires for you to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual activity. Reserving this special, God-given intimacy for marriage will strengthen your bond and prevent future regrets.

Many view abstinence as unattainable because they have not been shown how to practice it. Merely being told, “Don’t have sex before marriage,” without being equipped to live out that message makes abstinence much more challenging. Here are some suggestions from individuals who have encountered temptations and followed the path of abstinence:

• Recognize that you can defy societal norms. No one should pressure you into having sex before marriage. If you wish to honor God by saving sex for marriage, you have the ability to do so!

• Keep your focus on the ultimate goal. That goal is not your future spouse or your wedding night. Your ultimate aim is to grow more like Christ. That is God’s intention for you.

• Avoid situations where you may be tempted to compromise your values—especially your sexual purity. This may involve avoiding being alone together. You are aware of those circumstances, so steer clear of them.

• Date individuals who share your beliefs. When both partners are committed to abstinence, they can support each other in maintaining that commitment.

• Establish boundaries. Enlist a trusted friend or mentor to help you stay accountable.

Abstinence encompasses more than refraining from sex before marriage. Aim for sexual purity in all aspects of your life—your thoughts, words, and actions. If you frequently think about or discuss sex, consider ways to redirect your focus towards more wholesome topics.

Remember, you’re going to have a much harder time avoiding it.

Whether the culture deems abstinence realistic or not, it doesn’t alter God’s truth. He has decreed that sex should be reserved for marriage, and He will empower you to honor Him through abstinence. First Corinthians 10:13 states, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

Is abstinence realistic? Yes. Is abstinence always easy? No, but with God, it is achievable.

Note: You may have already lost your virginity. Please understand that God offers second chances. He desires you to turn to Him in repentance, and He will forgive your sins and mend your heart. It’s never too late to choose to live in righteousness and in ways that are pleasing to Him.