Why are there so few men in the church?

Answer

On any given Sunday, all around the world, churches are likely to see more women in the pews than men. Some estimates suggest that the “gender gap” in America is 61 percent women versus 39 percent men (www.uscongregations.org). This means that every Sunday, there are millions more women attending church than men.

Several theories have been proposed to explain why there are relatively fewer men attending church. One theory suggests that some men view the church’s teachings, which emphasize humility, holiness, and introspection, as “weak” or somehow less masculine. Men seek to be challenged by a “bold” message of adventure, danger, and assertiveness.

Many churches face the challenge of finding the right activities to attract men. Some congregations make an additional effort to offer fellowship and bonding opportunities for men by incorporating activities like hunting expeditions, fishing trips, and sports into their schedules.

Another theory suggests that many churches, whether intentionally or unintentionally, create a feminine atmosphere through their decor. Floral arrangements, pastel colors, frilly curtains, and images of passive pastoral scenes contribute to a tranquil environment but may alienate men. Some churches try to appeal to masculine sensibilities by adopting edgier, darker, more robust, and less nurturing decor.

Another explanation for the low male attendance in churches relates to the stereotypical masculine ego. According to this theory, men are inherently self-reliant, strong-willed, and proud, making them more resistant to the call for humility and submission. The gospel addresses our vulnerabilities, and men often struggle to acknowledge their neediness.

Other hypotheses include the role of upbringing. Since most men were raised by fathers who did not attend church services, they lack a masculine role model for involvement in a church. This suggests that the upbringing may influence men’s reluctance to engage in church activities.

It is often suggested that men, who are traditionally seen as the primary breadwinners, are too occupied with work—or enjoying their day off work—to engage with a church. Some also point out that overly sentimental church music can deter men from attending.

While there may be some truth to these ideas, none of them offer a complete explanation for the gender disparity in contemporary churches. It is unlikely that someone would reject church solely due to decorative curtains or a sentimental song; there is likely a more profound issue at play.

In reality, followers of Christ have historically included a significant number of women. According to Luke 8:3, there were “many” women who supported Jesus and His disciples during their ministry. At the crucifixion of Jesus, “many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs” «And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him: », (Matthew 27:55). Additionally, it was a group of women who initially discovered the empty tomb «Yea, and certain women also of our company made us astonished, which were early at the sepulchre; », (Luke 24:22).

The message of Christ is all-encompassing. Following Christ involves adventure, risk, and purpose. Churches should preach the Word and challenge, nurture, and encourage all their members, regardless of gender. Any church that dilutes the gospel into a gentle, agreeable message; downplays the demands of discipleship; or portrays Christ as weak is doing a disservice to its congregation. Charles Spurgeon criticized such a watered-down message in his time: “There has got abroad a notion, somehow, that if you become a Christian you must sink your manliness and turn milksop.”

Men avoid church for various reasons, and church leaders should be mindful of these potential reasons as they engage with young men, husbands, and fathers. Men should be encouraged to emulate the virtues and character of Christ.The heroes of the faith—strong men like Moses, Elijah, and Peter. The Christian life should be portrayed as the true adventure it is. And we should pray for God to raise up more men who acknowledge their God-given duties and who are not afraid to dedicate their skills and service to a local church.