What does it mean that love is not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:5)?

Response

Love is the supreme gift bestowed by God. In 1 Corinthians 13, we find a beautifully eloquent depiction of the love that God embodies. To help us grasp the full essence of love, the apostle Paul lists certain attributes that love does not possess. For instance, love “does not seek its own” (verse 5), also expressed as love “does not insist on its own way” (ESV).

The Greek expression literally means “does not seek its own things.” The Corinthian church was characterized by self-centeredness, which stands in direct opposition to love. This self-centered attitude was evident in the church’s disputes over leadership (chapters 1–3), their treatment of Paul (chapter 4), their approach to legal matters involving fellow believers (chapter 6), their conduct during the Lord’s Supper (chapter 11), and their handling of spiritual gifts (chapter 12). Paul urged these believers to shift their focus away from their own desires and preferences and instead dedicate themselves to serving God and one another.

The antidote to self-centeredness is seeking God. Love serves as the remedy for selfishness. Jesus stated, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second [commandment] is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself'” (Mark 12:30-31). The hallmark of a believer should be love for God and others, rather than self-love.

Some individuals have misinterpreted “love your neighbor as yourself” to imply that one must love oneself first in order to love others. The notion being that self-love is a prerequisite for loving others. However, this is not the intended message of the passage. Self-love is considered the default state; Jesus was emphasizing that caring for others should be as natural as caring for oneself.

In the teachings, Jesus was appealing to the Torah, specifically Leviticus 19:17-18, which states, “Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” The context deals with treating others fairly, without vengeance, and with love. It has no reference to self-love.

This focus on others and their needs corresponds to Philippians 2:4, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” The command appeals to the selfless actions of Jesus Christ as the ultimate example. The New Testament often mentions the need to turn from self and toward helping other people.

A person who demands his own way, who tramples on others’ rights for the sake of upholding his own, or who insists on having his due is not showing love. Love is considerate of others, always. The one who loves is willing to forgo recognition and lay down his rights for the sake of the loved one. Jesus showed love in this way: He “did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” «For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. », (Mark 10:45). No self-seeking there.

Christian love is not about us but about others. Putting love into practice involves following the example of Jesus, considering the needs and interests of others, and denying our personal desires in order to serve those in need.