Is it possible to love a person without liking that person?

Answer

The Bible teaches us that God’s will is for us to love others with a divine love. We are instructed to “love your neighbor as yourself” «And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. », (Luke 10:27) and even to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28). Jesus instructed His disciples the night before His crucifixion, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” «A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. », (John 13:34). In each of these instances, the Greek term for love is agapao, which is characterized by self-sacrifice. This love is not merely a feeling of brotherly affection or emotional attachment, as commonly believed. Instead, agapao or agape love seeks the best for its recipient. Sacrificial love is not rooted in emotion but in a deliberate act of the will, a joyful decision to prioritize the well-being of others over our own. Clearly, this kind of love is unattainable through our own efforts. It is only through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit that we can fulfill God’s directives, including the mandate to love.

Jesus instructed us to love as He loved us, so how did He love? “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” «But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. », (Romans 5:8).

(Romans 5:8). Certainly, we will not like everyone, nor are we called to. Even so, when we start to love someone with God’s love, our attitude toward that person changes. Psychologically, we are incapable of having attitudes and actions that are inconsistent. When we start to show love through our actions, our attitudes will follow. Love will still be a choice, but it will gradually become one the heart is more willing and ready to make. When we observe Jesus’ interactions with others, we see that He willingly engaged with all kinds—sinners, tax collectors, Pharisees, Sadducees, Romans, Samaritans, fishermen, women, children—with no regard for society’s view of the respectable. Jesus loved these people and treated them out of that love, but it did not always appear pleasant. He spoke harsh words to those who opposed Him, but He did so because it was best for them. He sacrificed His time, His emotional energy, and His wisdom for those who hated Him because He knew it would either lead them to a saving knowledge of Him or turn them away forever. Either way, they benefited from His input. This is the essence of loving our enemies—speaking the truth in love to them «but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: », (Ephesians 4:15), no matter how much it costs us to do so.

Once again, this does not mean that you will like every person or even respect them beyond the point of recognizing that they are made in God’s image. God has given us minds to discern, to some extent, the hearts of others. We are also made in God’s image and should not unnecessarily put ourselves in harm’s way by trusting someone who is not worthy of that trust. Jesus slipped away from crowds because He knew their hearts and needed to protect Himself (John 5:13;John 6:15). However, when we place our trust fully in someone, it is important to do so wisely.In Christ and pursue wisdom and holiness through prayer and the Scriptures, we will naturally develop a love for others—a godly love that sacrifices self by seeking the best for them—whether or not it is accompanied by affection.