How does the Bible define a good Christian family?

Answer

Technically, the Bible does not define a good Christian family because that term is not found in the Bible. However, the Bible does delineate what a family is and conveys its importance. Once we have a biblical understanding of the family, we can carefully apply the adjectives good and Christian.

The biblical ideal of a family is one man and one woman united by marriage to become “one flesh” for a lifetime «Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. », (Genesis 2:24) and to produce children whom they raise to adulthood. Ideally, then, a “Christian” family would be a believing man and woman united by marriage and raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord «And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. », (Ephesians 6:4). And a “good” Christian family would be one that possesses all the qualities necessary to be “Christian” and “family.”

Note that the above is the ideal of a good Christian family. We live in a broken world, and ideals are rarely realized. We are each marred by sin and “fall short of the glory of God” «for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; », (Romans 3:23). This affects our marriages, our families, and so much more. So what we see most often in the church are imperfect families—struggling families—who are striving to respond in a Christian manner to the brokenness around them. It’s a family’s response to trials and dysfunction that can be properly called “Christian” or “good.”

So, a good Christian family might be one in whichI know that not all the roles are filled. A childless couple who are seeking God and growing in Christ is still a good Christian family, even without children. A single mother doing her best to make ends meet and provide spiritual training for her children is in charge of a good Christian family. A single father who loves his children and teaches them the Bible is leading a good Christian family. This is true whether the singleness is the result of a spouse’s death or a divorce.

A good Christian family might be one in which various members of the family wrestle with some serious issues. A husband fights an addiction, a wife struggles with depression, a son rebels, a daughter runs away—it is the response to each of these crises that shows a family to be “good” and “Christian.” A good Christian family is not perfect; it is one that seeks to follow biblical principles in every circumstance, that cries out to God for help, and that desires to provide a nurturing place of stability and growth even in the midst of hardship.

It is impossible to have a good Christian family without love. As we know, “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” «beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. », (1 Corinthians 13:7, ESV). Believers in a family unit understand intuitively that God’s love is the bond that unites them, and they will seek to show that love to each other in practical ways.

A good Christian family may not often live up to the biblical ideal. In fact, it might be lacking in many respects. Despite its flaws, it can still be a picture-perfect representation of Christ’s redemptive power and the enduring nature of love.