In the Song of Solomon, why is it said that we shouldn’t awaken love until it pleases?

Response

Three times in the Song of Solomon, the daughters of Jerusalem are given this instruction: “Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 2:7;Song of Solomon 3:5;Song of Solomon 8:4;ESV). The NIV’s wording is similar: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” With the three-fold repetition, this directive can be seen as a refrain and emerges as a recurring theme throughout the song.

The speaker addresses the “daughters of Jerusalem”—young, unmarried women in Israel’s capital city—and offers them some wise counsel. Do not awaken love until it pleases. It’s a solemn admonition, given by one who has discovered true love and is relishing its delights. Do not try to arouse or awaken love. Do not provoke it. Love should be allowed to “rest” until it awakens on its own.

The essence appears to be this: genuine love, the kind deserving of the name “love,” should be spontaneous. There is peril in attempting to “force” love or to incite passions prematurely. There is a tendency, particularly among the young, to fall prey to “puppy love” or to confuse infatuation with true love. The speaker in the Song of Solomon would spare us much heartache. The instruction not to awaken love until it pleases serves as a caution against entering romantic relationships too early. It is a caution against becoming so eager to find love that we begin seeking it in all the wrong places. It is a caution against trying to fabricate feelings of love where none existed initially.

The NLT translates Song of Solomon 2:7 in a manner that underscores the importance of proper timing: “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, . . . not to awaken love until the time is right.” Waiting is never easy; in matters of the heart, waiting may be even more challenging. But waiting for the rRight timing, at the appropriate moment, has prevented many broken hearts. Let love develop naturally; let affection be genuine. The outcome will be exquisite.

If a relationship is meant to progress to the next stage, it will do so without pretense or schemes. If romance is destined, then romance will unfold. There is no need to force it. Genuine love is unique. It cannot be fabricated, and it cannot be controlled. Romantic emotions should not be awakened prematurely. Allow them to rest until the time is right.

The wording of the adjuration is intriguing and quite meaningful. In two instances, the plea references wildlife. Here is the entirety of Song of Solomon 2:7: “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (ESV). Through beautiful imagery, the speaker emphasizes the importance of allowing love to be free. Just as gazelles and deer roam freely, love should have the freedom to unfold in our hearts at its own pace and in its own manner. Love should not be controlled any more than a gazelle should be restrained or confined.

When the timing is right, love will blossom. Until then, wisdom advises us to protect our hearts. The wait will be worthwhile.