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James 1:19–20 states, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Being “quick to listen” means that we train ourselves to wait for the whole story before sharing our opinion. “Slow to speak” is the opposite of that. We control our words and refrain from blurting out everything that comes to mind.
James goes on to discuss the tongue: “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” «If any man among you seems to be religious and does not control his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is in vain. », (James 1:26). Later, he warns us about controlling our tongues: “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:5-6).
Our mouths often lead us into trouble. We claim to believe one thing, but then we are frequently contradicted by what we say. Jesus said, “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of” «O generation of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. », (Matthew 12:34).
When we discipline ourselves to listen more than we talk, we can learn a lot. Big talkers are hard to teach. They think they already know everything they need to know and constantly express their opinions. Wise people have learned that more wisdom can be gained by listening, observing, and not rushing to judgment. Proverbs 10:19 says, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”
The old adage is right: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” How many relationships have been damaged or ruined because we were slow to listen and quick to speak? How many mistakes could have been avoided had we only listened instead of talked?
We should be careful about the kinds of people we spend a lot of time listening to. Psalm 1 warns us not to listen to the foolish or the wicked. However, there are other people we should be quick to listen to:
• Church elders because of their position «Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you. », (Hebrews 13:17).
• Wise people because of their good advice «He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. », (Proverbs 13:20).
• Godly people because they can represent God’s perspective on our situation «Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities. », (Psalm 141:5).
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• Authorities represent the law because they «Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. », (Romans 13:1).
Most of us are not naturally quick to listen, but we can train ourselves to be better listeners. Good listening is active. It engages with the speaker and understands the speaker’s perspective, even if we disagree. When people feel heard, they are more willing to listen to our side. Being quick to listen actually opens the door to greater communication because listening shows respect. When people feel respected, they are more likely to return that respect and listen to us. It is important for us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. God’s Word always shows us the best way, and when we follow it, we are blessed.