Is it wrong to have a crush on someone?

Answer

There he/she is! In a room full of people, the only person you see is this dream of a person. Your heart races, palms sweat, mouth goes dry, and you simultaneously long for and dread an actual encounter. You have a crush. Are such feelings wrong? Is it appropriate to have a crush on someone?

A crush, or an infatuation, can be intense, but thankfully, it does not usually last long. We start developing crushes in preschool, and they can continue sporadically throughout adulthood. Most people experience them, yet no one can fully explain why we focus on one particular person while disregarding the rest. Pheromones, physical attractiveness, and the way someone smells, laughs, or smiles can all play roles in creating a crush. The feelings that come with a crush can be overwhelming.

Crushes need to be distinguished from real love. A crush may start similarly to love, but love progresses beyond physical and emotional attraction to a point of sacrificial service. It was not for a crush that God sent His Son to die; it was because of real love (John 3:16;John 10:11;1 John 4:9). A crush is an emotional response to something we find attractive about another person, while love involves a steadfast commitment to that person’s welfare (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

We can develop crushes on people we don’t even know, such as celebrities, public figures, or teachers. The internet has provided a new source of crushes as cyber-relationships ignite and our only contact with people is through a screen. The teen years are especially prone to crushes. Hormones are running wild, and bodies are in various stages of maturity. We are not always aware of the differences between love and a passionate crush, especially when we’re young, so we are prone to lea

Headfirst into romantic relationships or sexual entanglements that result in lasting scars.

Having a crush is not inherently wrong as long as we refrain from making sinful decisions because of it. Crushes are a natural part of human experience, so it’s essential to acknowledge them without letting them influence our choices. We must be cautious not to let innocent crushes evolve into sexual fantasies. Jesus stated, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” «but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. », (Matthew 5:28). When we fantasize about engaging in what God deems sinful, we are already sinning in our hearts (Colossians 3:5;1 Corinthians 6:18;Romans 1:26-27). Exercising control over a crush is crucial: “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls” «He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.», (Proverbs 25:28, NLT).

The Bible provides an example of someone whose life was ultimately affected by his uncontrolled crushes (Judges 14:1-2). Samson was chosen by God for a specific purpose (Judges 13:2-5). However, he missed out on much of what God intended for him because he allowed his crushes to dictate his actions. By learning from his mistakes, we can avoid similar traps. Firstly, Samson regularly socialized with pagans, engaging in activities he should have avoided. His second error was failing to recoRecognizing his own weaknesses, he was attracted to seductive, ungodly women and instead of guarding himself as stated in (Romans 13:14), he indulged in that weakness. Thirdly, he did not learn from his mistakes as mentioned in (Judges 16:1-4). He repeatedly mistook lust-based crushes for God-honoring love, leading to significant consequences as seen in (Judges 16:21,29-30). We can spare ourselves much pain by avoiding Samson’s errors.

As Christians, we are called to do everything for the glory of God, as mentioned in (1 Corinthians 10:31). When dealing with crushes, we should do so for God’s glory. It begins with being honest with the Lord about our feelings, similar to the psalmists in (Psalm 6:6;Psalm 38:9). We should ask Him to help us maintain pure thoughts and pleasing actions, as expressed in (Psalm 19:14). Additionally, we can pray for the person we are attracted to, requesting that they seek the Lord and that God fulfills His purpose in their life. If the crush is a potential marriage partner, we can boldly ask the Lord for opportunities to deepen our relationship. However, we must always present our requests in alignment with Jesus’ words, “Yet not my will, but yours be done,” as illustrated in «saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nev…».Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” , (Luke 22:42).

God desires to be involved in every aspect of our lives, even in our infatuations. He wants us to carefully guard our hearts so that infatuations do not turn into idols “Keep your heart with all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life.” , (Proverbs 4:23). If we catch ourselves constantly thinking about one person, we may have crossed the boundary from a typical infatuation to an unhealthy fixation. Seeking intimate moments of communion with God can help us maintain a healthy perspective on that infatuation. As appealing as an infatuation may be, no individual can satisfy the emptiness in our hearts like God can. The excitement of an infatuation serves as a reminder that our hearts have a significant capacity for love, joy, excitement, and hope. All these desires will be completely fulfilled one day when we are eternally in the presence of the Lord (Psalm 16:11;Psalm 23:6;Revelation 21:2).