Help! Our college grad is unemployed

Dear Chuck,

Our son graduated from college in May and has not found a job in his desired career field yet. We think we will give him a few more months and then expect him to start paying his own bills. Are we being too hard on him? 

Parenting an Unemployed College Grad

Dear Parenting an Unemployed College Grad,

It is hard to say if you are being hard on him or not without more information. However, my initial reaction is that you are doing your son a favor by setting a deadline and expecting him to take charge of his financial responsibilities. In fact, considering that he is waiting on an opening in his “desired career field,” I would begin expecting him to pay the bills now, whether he is working in a career he likes or not.

Most young people can find some sort of gig, part-time or full-time, that will pay the bills at this point in their lives. As an employer, I would view an application from a recent graduate who is working in any kind of job — while waiting for the best opportunity to open — as a major positive.

I believe in the old saying, “The man may build the house, but the house is also building the man.” Work experience is priceless training for any career. It teaches us to hold down responsibility, get along with people, and value our time, while developing our character. I have read studies that correlate early work experience outside the home with future career success.

Adam was created to work. Genesis 2:15 shows us that he was given a job tending God’s garden before he sinned. Thus, work is not a curse but a way to fulfill our life purpose. For many, working to pay our own way is a form of dignity that cannot be gained in any other way. Consider a recent article about a phenomenon in China where unemployed young people fake like they have a job.

Pretend jobs

Unemployed young adults in China are paying companies so they can pretend to work for them. The BBC News Chinese, Hong Kong reports that youth unemployment is high, more than 14%. So, these young people, many of whom are highly educated, are joining others to pretend they are working — yes, to fake it.

Companies are popping up in major cities across China that function like true offices, equipped with computers, internet access, meeting rooms and tea rooms. A 30-year-old owner of the Pretend to Work Company says, “What I’m selling isn’t a workstation, but the dignity of not being a useless person.”

He understands how depressing and powerless unemployment can be because he had to close a retail business during the COVID pandemic. He started this company, and within a month, the workstations were full. Forty percent are recent university grads; the others are freelancers. The average age is 30. He sees the business as a social experiment. “It uses lies to maintain respectability, but it allows some people to find the truth … Only by helping them transform their fake workplace into a real starting point can this social experiment truly live up to its promise.”

While paying $4 to $7 daily to pretend, these young people benefit by being in community. They become friends, look for jobs together, improve skills (like AI), chat, play games, and often have dinner together. Some hope to improve their self-discipline. Others pay the daily fee to deceive their family or to receive a diploma.

One young lady graduated from a university that requires students to sign an employment contract or provide proof of internship. She rented a workstation and took photos to deceptively gain a diploma. She is not interning, although she has written online novels while paying for space.

Read more here: BBC.com, EconomicTimes.IndiaTimes.com.

A better way

Set a date that your son will begin paying for his bills. Give him notice that he needs to find any kind of employment that will put some money in his pocket, such as driving for Uber, working at a quick-service restaurant, or freelancing at something he is good at. In the meantime, use a focused networking effort to try to land an interview for the dream job. He is much more likely to be motivated to look for a better job when he does not like the one he has. Also, getting a personal interview will enhance his chances of being hired. Use the part-time or temporary gig as a way to show determination and grit.

Of course, do all of this in love. Setting high standards should not be considered punishment or being too hard on your child. In fact, it is a very high form of love to assist him to get where God wants Him to be.

Crown’s Career Direct Assessment has helped thousands of professionals and recent graduates discover work they love. By looking at personality, interests, skills and values, it can help with finding meaningful work and increasing job satisfaction.