So King Jeroboam aks his helpa guys wat fo do. Den he tell his worka guys, “Make two idol kine gods outa gold, da kine dat look jalike bebe cows.” Den he tell da peopo, “Eh, az too hard fo you guys go all da way Jerusalem side fo make sacrifice! Look now! Right hea, da gods fo you Israel peopo! Dis, da ones wen bring you guys hea from da Egypt land!”
You go ack jalike you mo importan den da God dat stay king inside da sky. You wen tell yoa guys fo go bring da fancy kine cups an bowls from da Temple fo dat God. Den you, yoa alii guys, yoa real wifes, an yoa odda wifes drink wine from um. An you talk good bout da silva, gold, bronze, iron, wood, an stone gods—no matta dey no can see, hear, o undastan notting. But you neva tell notting bout how awesome da God dat get da powa fo make you stay alive o fo kill you! He da One stay in charge a eryting you do!
Da odda peopo dat neva mahke from da big trouble, dey still yet no come sorry an no pau do bad kine stuff. Dey still yet go down in front da bad kine spirits an da idol kine gods. No matta dey make da idols wit gold, silva, bronze, stone, an wood. An no matta da idol kine gods no can see, o hear, o walk, notting!