Cuz da govmen guys in charge, dey da ones dat God wen pick fo help you. But if you do bad kine stuff, mo betta you stay sked! Dey da ones dat get da powa ova you fo make shua you get punish. Dose govmen guys, dey jalike helpa guys fo God, fo punish da peopo dat do bad kine stuff. Cuz da bad kine stuff dat peopo do, God tell “Laytas” to dat.
David tink, “My boy Solomon still young, an he donno plenny stuff yet. But da Temple us goin build fo Da One In Charge gotta be da bestes—one awesome place fo go in front God fo all da peopo all ova da world know bout um. An gotta look awesome! Az why I like make ready fo build um.” So den David make ready plenny kine stuffs befo he mahke.
But David tell Abishai, “Aah, you guys, Zeruiah my sistah boys! Erytime, you guys no tink same same wit me! Today you ack jalike da guys dat go agains me! You tink today one good time fo kill one Israel guy, o wat?! No way! You tink I donno dat today, I da one stay king ova all da Israel peopo fo real kine!”
Cuz Joab wen make peopo bleed an mahke, now Da One In Charge pay back Joab. Joab wen go attack an kill two guys, an my faddah neva know wat Joab do till afta. One guy Abner, Ner boy, da general fo da Israel army, an da odda, Amasa, Jeter boy, da general fo da Judah army. Dey mo betta guys den Joab, an dey stay do da right ting mo den Joab.