Absalom make lidat to all da Israel peopo dat come fo aks da king fo do da right kine ting fo dem. Az how he bulai da Israel peopo fo dem like him mo den dey like da king.
Dis wat wen happen: Da Israel army guys fight all ova da country side an mo plenny guys mahke cuz da fores eat up mo plenny guys den David army guys wen kill.
Abner yell to Joab an tell, “We goin stay kill each odda wit swords foeva, o wat?! Fo shua, you know dat afta dis fighting pau, erybody goin stay hate each odda still yet. How long befo you goin tell yoa army guys fo no go chase dea braddahs da Israel guys no moa?!”
Ony take one day fo da Israel king Pekah, Remaliah boy, an his guys fo kill 120,000 Judah army guys, an all a dem, guys dat know how fo fight real good. All dat happen, cuz da Judah peopo wen bag from Da One In Charge, da God fo dea ancesta guys.
You betta know dat da bad kine peopo Goin get busted an suffa, But fo da peopo Dat do da right ting erytime, Da ones dat goin come from dem Goin stay outa trouble.