Zibeon, his boys Ayah an Anah. (Dis Anah guy, az da same one dat was inside da boonies fo take kea da donkeys fo his faddah guy Zibeon, an he wen find one place wea get hot watta come outa da groun.)
Az why from now some a da peopo dat goin come from you goin get kill wit swords, an dat goin happen fo long time! Az cuz you wen ack jalike I no matta, an you wen take Uriah wife fo come yoa wife.’
Me, yoa worka wahine, I get two boys. One time, dem two wen fight wit each odda in da country side, an nobody stay ova dea fo broke up da fight. One boy wack da odda boy an kill um.
Absalom spock some a David guys. He stay ride his mule fo run away. But wen da mule go unda da thick branches from one big oak tree, Absalom head come stuck inside da tree branches. He stay hang ova dea cuz his mule stay go an no stop.
da king tell um, “I da boss fo you guys, an I like you guys do dis: Go get all da odda guys dat work fo me. Den put my boy Solomon on top my spesho mule, an make parade fo take him down dea outside Jerusalem, by da Gihon watta place.
So Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy, an da guard guys from da Keret an Pelet peopos, dey all go outa da palace. Dey go fo put Solomon on top da mule dat stay spesho fo King David, an dey take Solomon down to da Gihon watta place.
“Do wat I tell you you gotta do. “No make diffren kine animals breed wit each odda. “No plant two diffren kine seeds inside yoa field. “No wear da kine clotheses dat somebody weave from two diffren kine string, jalike wool an linen.
Fo do bad kine stuff, dey go all out! Da alii guys aks fo gifs fo make dem come rich. Da judge guys aks fo unda da table kine money fo do dea job. Da importan guys tell wat dey like erytime. Dey all make plan togedda fo do um.