Eh, my good frenz! I stay write dis stuff to you guys, so you no do bad kine stuff. But wen get somebody dat do bad kine stuff, us get one Guy dat stay talk to da Faddah fo us guys. Dass Jesus Christ, da Spesho Guy God Wen Sen. He erytime stay do da right ting.
Eh, my braddahs an sistahs, I beg you guys fo come jalike me, an no stick wit da Rules fo try get um right wit God. I like fo you guys come jalike me cuz I wen come jalike you guys. Da time I was wit you guys, you guys neva do notting fo hurt me.
Me, Da One In Charge, Da God dat wen bring you hea Outa da Egypt land. If you stay ready fo take Wat I like give you, I goin give you plenny! Jalike you open yoa mout fo eat An I give you plenny food!