Why is finding true love so difficult?

Answer

We all have a desire to love and be loved. We experience different levels of love from parents, siblings, friends, and others. However, most of us also desire to find that special person with whom we can share a deeper level of love. Discovering true love can appear extremely challenging, and it’s often difficult to comprehend why. A fundamental question to address initially is, “what is my definition of true love?” Understanding our interpretation of “true love” can assist us in recognizing what we are genuinely seeking and why it may or may not be successful.

Many societies use the term love very casually. Love is frequently linked with intense emotions that, in reality, are self-centered and lacking commitment. In numerous movies and TV shows, we observe characters who act based on their hormones and engage in sexual activity before marriage. When “love” is superficially grounded in pleasurable emotions or physical sensations, it can fade as quickly as it arose. It is acceptable to desire to feel positive emotions towards our loved one; nevertheless, if that forms the basis of the relationship, the relationship is at risk. If the type of “love” portrayed in today’s sex-suffused culture is what we are pursuing, it is no surprise that it appears challenging to discover; we are not seeking true love but an encounter that, inherently, cannot endure for long.

The Bible presents a significantly distinct perspective on love. True love originates from God—indeed, He is love «He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. », (1 John 4:8)—and He is the One who instilled in us the need to love and be loved. Therefore, comprehending His concept of love is essential. True love, as outlined in the Bible, is founded on sacrifice, dedication, and a desire to promote the well-being of the loved one (see John 15:13). God’s love for us led Him to the cross. We are certain that Jesus did not experience “joyful” emotions on His journey to the cross (Luke 22:42-44). The Bible portrays our connection with Jesus as that of a bride and bridegroom (Matthew 9:15; Ephesians 5:32). Genuine romance is intended to lead to and flourish within a marital commitment «Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. », (Genesis 2:24) and should be grounded in sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:22, 25-28).

Various factors could hinder the discovery of true love, according to God’s plan. Here we will concentrate on a few significant obstacles that we encounter:

Believing there is only one “right” person for us. This misconception can instill fear in us that we are settling for less than the best. Waiting for one’s ideal “soul mate” to appear can be a lengthy wait. Whoever we decide to marry becomes the “right” one for us, because we have committed to that person for life. The Bible has narrowed down the options: our true love must be a believer who is devoted to the Lord (2 Corinthians 6:14-15); beyond that, God will grant wisdom and discernment «If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. », (James 1:5). Wise, godly individuals who know us well can also offer guidance in finding true love.

Believing that a person will or can satisfy us. Only God can truly satisfy us, so we do not need to find romantic love to experience fulfillment! None of us is flawless, and expecting another imperfect human being to fulfill every need is unrealistic, unhealthy, and

Can only lead to disappointment.

Not being willing to change or grow. It’s easy to imagine the kind of person we would love to be in love with, but how much effort do we expend in becoming that kind of person ourselves? We all have our own issues that we must address with God’s help to be the kind of people He desires us to be. It can be tempting to think that finding true love will magically solve those issues. But being in a close relationship with someone will not fix our problems; it is more likely to expose them more. This can be a rewarding part of the relationship, as iron sharpens iron «Iron sharpeneth iron; So a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. », (Proverbs 27:17), if we are willing to change and grow. If we’re unwilling to change, the relationship will be strained and could eventually be destroyed. This does not mean that every personal issue must be dealt with before we get married. Rather, we should get into the practice of asking God to show us what things need to be cleaned out of our lives «Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts: », (Psalm 139:23). As we become the people God wants us to be, we will be better suited for whatever relationships are in store.

Thinking it’s too late to find true love. Finding true love and getting married is not to be taken lightly. It is better to be cautious than to make a quick and reckless decision. Three times, the Song of Solomon warns, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Solomon 2:7;Song of Solomon 3:5;Song of Solomon 8:4). God’s timing is always best.

We know that God cares about our desire to find true love. When we fully surrender that desire to Him, we releaseEase the burden of attempting to make true love happen ourselves (Matthew 11:29-30).

Love is an essential attribute of God, and He demonstrates in the Bible how genuine, true love operates. Trying to redefine love or seeking it outside of God’s plan leads to frustration and disappointment. Yielding our desires to God, obeying His will, and discovering our satisfaction in Him are the means to discover true love. “Take delight in the Lord, and he will grant you the desires of your heart” «Delight thyself also in the LORD; And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. », (Psalm 37:4).