What does the Bible say about how to stop hating yourself?

Answer

Self-loathing (or hating oneself) is a significant issue concerning how one perceives oneself in the eyes of God (if the individual is a believer). It becomes even more critical for someone who does not have faith in God, as they are left to rely on their own standards to judge their actions, mirroring what Satan used to tempt Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:4-5) and what caused God’s people to stray from His path during the period of the judges “In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did what was right in his own eyes.”, (Judges 21:25).

Why do some individuals harbor self-hatred and become trapped in a cycle of self-loathing? Let’s be clear: a person who has faith in Jesus does not need to despise themselves. A believer in Jesus should detest sin, seek repentance, and forgiveness, all rooted in God’s grace. While believers may still sin daily, dwelling on past or present failures without acknowledging the abundant grace and mercy offered by Jesus can lead to sinking into a pit of despair.

The apostle Paul grappled with sin throughout his life, as detailed in Romans 7. He concludes that part of the letter with, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! . . . There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 7:24-25a;8:1;ESV). Paul, like us, struggled with sin throughout his life. If he were to continue focusing on his past sins “For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.”, which for him included persecuting the church, see 1 Corinthians 15:9, he would surely find himself trapped in self-hatred.

Some individuals despise themselves for committing a grave sin in their past. The forgiveness offered in Christ should instill hope in those struggling with self-loathing. Scripture assures us that God completely removes our sins through His forgiveness and mercy “As far as the east is from the west, So far hath he removed our transgressions from us.”, (Psalm 103:12) and that, upon confessing our sins, He purifies us from all unrighteousness “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”, (1 John 1:9). Just as God forgave individuals like David, who committed murder and adultery, and Paul, who violently persecuted the early church, He can extend forgiveness and grace to anyone who repents and trusts in Him, regardless of the severity of their transgressions. “Where sin increased, grace increased all the more” “Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:”, (Romans 5:20). With confidence in God’s forgiveness, we can strive to mend broken relationships and make reparations for our actions “And Zacchæus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken anything from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.”, (Luke 19:8).

Some individuals harbor self-hatred due to their perceived role in a tragedy they believe they could have averted. “If only I had done __________” or “If only I had not done __________””Is their regret.” This is a painful and challenging situation to be in, as we can all reflect on certain situations and wish we had made different decisions. The sovereignty of God should bring hope to the hurting in such cases. Scripture says that God is completely sovereign and rules over all things (Psalm 135:5-6; Proverbs 21:1). He alone has complete power to give life and to take it away, “and said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:21). And God can bring good even out of the worst of situations (Romans 8:28; Genesis 50:20). Satan would have us dwell on how we could have done things differently, but this type of speculation is unproductive and does not help us grow in our love for God and for our neighbor. God would have us cease the speculation and trust in Him.

Some hate themselves because of perceived personality quirks or their own physical appearance. They see themselves as weird, awkward, or abrasive around others, negatively affecting friends and acquaintances. Or they view themselves as just plain ugly. The design of God should bring hope. Scripture says that God is the One who made us. Every part of our physical bodies is of God’s design and under His care (see Matthew 10:30). Our personalities, too, are given by God. God knows us better than anyone—better even than we know ourselves (Psalm 139:1-6, 23-24)! And He loves us. As we allow the Holy Spirit to control us, our personalities will be shaped and used by God Himself. And our physical appearance will matter less. When we set our hope on the glories of our heavenly.My citizenship is in heaven; from there we await the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ (Philippians 3:20), we can experience perfect peace.

The key to overcoming self-hatred is to shift the focus away from oneself and onto Christ. The lyrics of this simple chorus serve as a good reminder:

“Let’s set aside ourselves / And exalt the Lord and worship Him” (Ballinger, B., Sound III, Inc., admin by Universal Music Corp., MCA Music Publ., 1976). Jesus can rescue us from the pit of self-loathing and fill our mouths with praises to God (Psalm 40:1-3). Let’s reflect on Jesus’ perfect love for us (1 John 4:17-18), His unfailing faithfulness and dedication to loving His people (Romans 8:38-39), His complete provision for and protection of His followers (Psalm 23), and His flawless sacrifice for all our sins (Colossians 2:13-14). We can find peace by fixing our thoughts on the Lord: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you” (Isaiah 26:3). We have every reason to rejoice because if we have faith in Jesus, our names are recorded in heaven: “However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven” (Luke 10:20).

Timothy Keller, in his book The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, portrays the individual who has learned to focus less on self and more on Christ’s work: “A truly gospel-humb

The person is not a self-hating individual or a self-loving individual, but a gospel-humble individual. The truly gospel-humble individual is a self-forgetful person whose ego is akin to his or her toes. It simply functions. It does not draw attention to itself. The toes simply function; the ego simply functions. Neither calls attention to itself” (2017, 10 Publishing, p. 33).

Let us shift our focus from the sinful state of our flesh and gaze upon Him who has triumphed over sin and death for us (Colossians 3:1-3;1 Corinthians 15:57).