What does the Bible say about family problems?

Answer

Family problems are not a new phenomenon. In a fallen world, those we should love the most—our families—often become the ones we have the most conflicts with. The Bible does not overlook sin, and it recounts various family issues, beginning with Adam’s blame-shifting, where his wife was the target: “And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.”, (Genesis 3:12). Sibling rivalry is evident in the narratives of Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, and Joseph and his brothers. Jealousy among wives— a negative consequence of polygamy— is depicted in the stories of Hannah, Leah, and Rachel. Eli and Samuel had to deal with wayward children. Jonathan was nearly killed by his father, Saul. David was heartbroken by his son Absalom’s rebellion. Hosea faced marital challenges. In each of these instances, relationships were harmed by sin.

The Bible provides significant insights into relationships, including family dynamics. The first institution God established for human interaction was the family (Genesis 2:22-24). He created a wife for Adam and united them in marriage. Referring to this event, Jesus later stated, “What God has joined together, let no man separate” “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”, (Matthew 19:6). God’s intention was for one man and one woman to stay married until death. He intends to bless that union with children who are to be raised “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4;see also Psalm 127:3)Most family issues arise when we go against God’s design—polygamy, adultery, and divorce all lead to problems because they stray from God’s original plan.

The Bible provides clear instructions on how family members should treat each other. God’s design is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His church, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25,33). “Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25,33). Wives are to respect their husbands and submit to their leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33;1 Peter 3:1). Children are to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1-4;Exodus 20:12). How many family issues would be resolved if husbands, wives, and children simply followed these basic guidelines?

First Timothy 5:8 states that families should care for their own. Jesus strongly criticized those who neglected their financial obligations to their elderly parents by falsely claiming they had given all their money to the temple (Matthew 15:5-6).

The key to family harmony is not one we naturally embrace. Ephesians 5:21 advises us to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Submission goes against our fleshly desire to dominate and have our own way. We often fight for our rights, advocate for our interests, defend our opinions, and push our own agendas whenever possible. God’s path is to crucify our flesh (Galatians 5:24).

(Galatians 5:24; Romans 6:11) and submit to the needs and wishes of others whenever we can. Jesus is our model for that kind of submission to God’s will. First Peter 2:23 says, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”

Most family problems could be lessened if we all followed the instructions found in Philippians 2:3–4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” When we adopt the spirit of humility and treat others as Jesus would treat them, we can resolve many of our family and relationship problems.