Should a Christian use a dating service to find a spouse?

Answer

The Bible does not mention dating services. It also does not provide guidance on how to “date” or “court,” or whatever term we use to describe the process of getting to know a potential partner. In ancient times, dating did not exist as it does today. Families played a significant role in helping young individuals meet, get engaged, and sometimes even arranged marriages for their children. While familial involvement remains common in many cultures today, singles in other societies often have to find a partner on their own. Some singles trust that God will bring the right person into their lives, while others actively search for a partner, fearing they might miss out. It is important to strike a balance, remembering that God is perfectly loving (Ephesians 3:18;1 John 3:16-18) and completely sovereign over every circumstance, desire, and need (Psalm 109:21;Romans 8:38-39). God can work through our choices, other people, and even modern technology to bring couples together.

Before a Christian single explores newer methods of finding a partner, such as using a Christian dating service, it is important to reflect on whether we might be engaging in self-defeating behaviors. Are we being overly selective, searching for a fairy-tale partner and potentially limiting the possibilities of what God knows is best for us but we have not yet considered? Or perhaps we are not discerning enough, forgetting that God instructs all Christians to marry fellow believers “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”, <a href="https://www.bibliatodo.com/en/bible/king-james-version/2corinthians-

6-14″>(2 Corinthians 6:14), or are we considering someone who is trapped in a serious, life-altering sin that could jeopardize the marriage? A Christian man should take the lead in relationships and ensure that their relationship brings glory to Christ in all aspects. A Christian woman should allow the man to take the lead as the leader God created him to be. Lastly, as believers, we should be able to stand independently, relying on the Lord for fulfillment rather than feeling a necessity to be married to be complete. Once we have addressed these common challenges, we can start pursuing a woman or be pursued by a man with the intention of marriage.

In all decisions, we should seek God’s clear guidance. Meeting single Christian men and women can be challenging, especially if most of our friends are already married. We can position ourselves to meet other Christians by engaging in a church singles group. Volunteering for a cause we are passionate about or joining other groups can also help, ensuring that we do so out of genuine interest rather than solely to meet potential partners. Some individuals prefer to meet their spouse through mutual connections, family, or chance encounters, and many successfully do so. However, some feel restricted in the people they encounter due to their profession, city size, or activities. In such cases, exploring alternative methods may be prudent. Modern approaches to finding a partner include internet or online dating, professional matchmaking services, and speed dating. Each method has its advantages and disadvantages, and none is universally suitable. Before embarking on any of these avenues, we should commence with prayer, seeking God’s guidance on the path He wants us to take.

Currently, internet dating is the most popular non-traditional method to meet singles. Numerous Christian dating services and secular platforms are available that enable users to narrow their searches to Christians. (Please note that Got Questions Ministries d

Does not endorse any particular Christian or secular dating service site).

One major downfall of internet dating is that you can never be sure who is being honest and who is pretending to be someone they are not. The result of deception can be humorous, but it may also be deadly. It is a good idea to never answer any communication from someone from another country unless you are able to conduct an extensive background check on him or her. Some of these individuals are attempting to deceive the men and women they meet. Be cautious about any personal details you share via online communication. It is also wise to meet the person face-to-face before becoming too emotionally intimate via email communication. When you do meet for the first time, do so in a public place—never allow them to drive you anywhere or take you somewhere where you will be alone. It is wise to plan a double date so that a close friend can offer his or her opinion on this (let’s face it) complete stranger. Listen to your instincts and get away quickly if you ever feel you are in any danger. Warnings aside, however, many happy Christian marriages have resulted from internet dating.

Professional matchmaking services are usually safer than internet dating but are less popular and do not always have a very large pool of people to choose from. They can also be more expensive, usually involve more extensive applications, and require some type of background check. However, if done safely and wisely, professional matchmaking can potentially lead to a successful Christian marriage.

Speed dating is where singles circulate systematically through a room of tables to assess a potential date in only a few minutes per rotation. At the end of the night, they turn in a card that indicates with whom they would be willing to be matched up. The couples who have mutual interest will receive each other’s contact information. Again, if done safely and wisely, this can potentially lead to a successful Christian marriage.

In all of the choices we make, tThough, it’s crucial to remember that it is God—not us—who brings us together with a spouse. As simple as it may sound, we shouldn’t have to work to find our spouse; we should be living out our lives with any desires for a spouse on the back burner and our desires for knowing God at the forefront of our hearts.

Seek God and He will fulfill (or change) your desires (Psalm 103:5; Romans 12:2) in His perfect way and His perfect time (Romans 5:6; Romans 8:26-27). Would we want it any other way? Look at the story of Isaac and Rebekah and how God brought them together (Genesis 24). It was sovereignly planned and controlled by God. God holds our every moment in His hands «My times are in thy hand: Deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me. », (Psalm 31:15), and He will not let us slip through the cracks of His gentle fingers. He cradles our lives and our hearts in His hands, and He will not forget His children. If God has intended marriage for you, He will bring it to fruition and will be faithful to guide you in your role in bringing it about. In the meantime, seek God in what He has for you now. God has a purpose for each of us, single or married, and it is a shame to miss living His purpose fully for you in whatever season you are in by becoming too focused on whatever season He has in store for you next.