If we talk to loved ones who have died, do they hear us?

Answer

The longing to converse with our deceased loved ones is a common aspect of the mourning process. We yearn for another chance to see them, to hear their voices once more, or to express things left unsaid. We hold onto the hope that our departed loved ones can hear us from heaven and possibly respond. Well-meaning acquaintances may claim that the departed are able to hear us and are looking out for us, perhaps even suggesting that they have become angels. However, what does the Bible say about this? Is it appropriate to try to communicate with our deceased loved ones? Can they communicate with us from heaven?

The Bible does not provide any indication that genuine, reciprocal communication between the living and the dead is feasible. On the contrary, Scripture explicitly prohibits believers from attempting such interactions (see Leviticus 19:31; see Leviticus 20:6,27; Deuteronomy 18:9-12; 1 Chronicles 10:13-14).

There is at least one Bible verse that may imply that our departed loved ones who are saved can observe from heaven and, to some extent, be aware of earthly events: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us” «Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, », (Hebrews 12:1, NLT). Some scholars believe that this “huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith” refers to the saints in heaven who have completed their journey but are now observing us and cheering us on.Hear us on to the glorious end. Some believe the description is figurative: the heroes of the faith bear witness from the pages of Scripture, and we are encouraged along the way by remembering their testimonies. Since the Bible doesn’t definitively state that the saints in heaven are watching us, we should not place too much confidence in the prospect. We can only speculate.

The Bible warns believers not to be deceived by lying spirits (see 1 Kings 22:22-23;1 Timothy 4:1). Satan is a liar, and demons can likely imitate the voice or appearance of our departed loved ones, leading us astray. Purposely seeking “a message from beyond” is spiritually dangerous.

Since Jesus Christ is the only mediator between God and humanity, we should not pray to dead saints «For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; », (1 Timothy 2:5). However, praying to a saint and conversing with a deceased loved one are distinct. Would it be acceptable to occasionally address loved ones in heaven, as long as we don’t anticipate a response? Nothing in the Bible suggests this is wrong or against God’s will, but wouldn’t it be preferable to speak to Jesus or pray to the Father about your loved one? Randy Alcorn writes, “Personally, rather than conversing with a loved one, I am more comfortable simply praying to Jesus or the Father (there are biblical examples of praying to each) and saying, ‘Lord, would you please give my mom a hug, and tell her it’s from me?’ Now I think my mom sometimes sees what’s happening here and might hear this when I say it, but I KNOW God hears it. And I trust God to do what He knows is best” (www.epm.org/blog/2008/May/2/can-we-or-should-we-talk-to-loved-ones-in-heaven, accessed 10/3/23).

Rather than seeking comfort from the deceased, we have the WordOf God and the Spirit of God to provide all the comfort and guidance we require. We can turn to the Lord when we feel overwhelmed by the loss of a loved one because in Him, we find endless reservoirs of assistance, hope, and strength (Psalm 27:10; Psalm 121:1-2; 124:8; Isaiah 40:31; Matthew 11:28). The psalmist declares, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

We encounter numerous instances of God communicating with us through His Word: “All Scripture is God-breathed and is beneficial for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). The Bible is the primary means by which God addresses us. His Word is our guiding light (Psalm 119:105). Through the prophet Isaiah, God discloses, “So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).

We can bring our hurts and heartaches to God, regardless of the situation, knowing He fully understands how we feel. In Jesus Christ, we haveWe have a High Priest who understands our weaknesses. Because of Him, we can “come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most” (Hebrews 4:15-16;NLT).

With the loss of a loved one, the pain can be overwhelming. We may miss communicating with that person and desire to reconnect in some way. In those times, God calls us to turn to Him. He is our Comforter (John 7:38-39;14:16-18, 26;15:26;Romans 8:16). He heals our brokenness (Psalm 30:11;Isaiah 61:1) and brings the peace our hearts desperately need (John 14:27;John 16:33;Philippians 4:6-7).

If we trust God with our grief, He will show us how to carry on despite the painful loss. Moreover, He assures us that our loved ones are whole in heaven, with Him, which is far better than anything we can imagine here on earth (Philippians 1:20-24;Romans 8:18;1 Corinthians 2:9;2 Corinthians 4:17;1 John 3:1-2). Departed believers are not angels, but they are God’s chosen family, “the assembly of God’s firstborn children, whose names are written in heaven . . . the spirits of the righteous ones in heaven who have now been made perfect” «to the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, », (Hebrews 12:23). One day we will be reunited with

Our redeemed loved ones and share life in perfect fellowship with each other and God for all eternity «And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. », (Revelation 21:3).