How can I help someone who is suicidal?

Answer

The threat of suicide is frightening and should be taken seriously. Many times, such a threat is simply a cry for help. Those with suicidal thoughts may be so distraught that they cannot imagine life improving, and they simply want the pain to go away. Suicide may seem like the only alternative, yet mentioning it is often a desperate attempt to get the attention of someone who may be able to stop the pain.

Suicide is a sin, so anyone contemplating it needs to remember that (Matthew 5:21-22). Human beings are God’s creation, and none of us have the right to murder God’s creation, even if we make ourselves the victim. Suicide is telling God that He doesn’t know what He is doing and does not understand how hard life is. Psalm 139:16 says that “all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” God sets the length of our lives, not us. Before we can help someone who is suicidal, we need to have a clear understanding that suicide is never a good option.

When a friend or family member hints that they are contemplating suicide, we should urge them to see a doctor. Many times, depression or some physical problem may be at the root of the suicidal thoughts. Proper medical treatment may alleviate the suicidal thoughts and return the person to healthy thinking. Physicians can also refer the suicidal person to a mental health professional for evaluation and treatment. Medication and talk therapy have helped many people abandon suicidal thoughts and return to their lives. A concerned friend or family member should keep a close watch on the suicidal person to make sure they are following through on the suggestions. Often suicidal people don’t care enough about their own lives to pursue help, so loving friends and family should step in and make sure the available help is utilized.

When physical and mental health are both addressed, the suicidal person can begin to see a way out of the darkness and into a healthier, more stable life. It’s important to remember that suicidal thoughts are a sign of deep pain and hopelessness, and with the right support and treatment, that pain can be alleviated, and hope can be restored.

Mental health issues have been addressed, and we can assist a suicidal individual by also considering their spiritual well-being. If the individual does not identify as a follower of Christ, their despair may stem from a lack of hope or purpose. A Christian can take this opportunity to introduce Christ to a suicidal person. As they come to understand that their life has significance and their future is in God’s hands, the urge to end their life may diminish. If the Christian is uncertain about how to articulate their faith, there is ample assistance available. They can read explanatory articles on becoming a Christian or receiving salvation with the suicidal individual.

At times, the suicidal individual is a Christian who has sunk into such deep despair that God’s assurances appear as mere fairy tales. This individual also requires a medical and mental health assessment and the support of a compassionate friend or loved one. Despite knowing that what our suicidal friend is contemplating is sinful, this is not the moment to be judgmental. No one comprehends the extent of pain and depression that another person is enduring: “Each heart knows its own bitterness” «The heart knoweth his own bitterness; And a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy. », (Proverbs 14:10). Clichés like “cheer up!” or “it’s not that bad” are unhelpful. Often, the suicidal Christian is acutely aware of the wrongness of their desires, intensifying their despair.

It can be beneficial to empathize with the individual, reassuring them that they are not alone in experiencing such profound sadness. Remind them that life has its seasons, and the current pain will not last forever. A new and brighter season awaits if they can persevere through this difficult period. Guide them to the Psalms that capture the depths of human emotions. Read with them if they are too despondent to read alone. Psalms such as Psalm 6, 42:11, and 22:1–2, which Jesus referenced on the cross, articulate the anguish of our hearts. Remind them that Jesus understands the depths of such despair and endured it for our sake.

«Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. », (Matthew 26:38). The person contemplating suicide is not disappointing God by feeling bad. Any condemnation comes from the enemy, not God « There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. », (Romans 8:1). We can gently remind them that despair is envisioning a future without God in it, and He assures us that He will never leave us «Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. », (Hebrews 13:5).

We must remember that, regardless of the decision a person considering suicide makes, we are not accountable for it. Often, family and friends blame themselves when a loved one takes their own life. This compounds the grief, but the responsibility is misplaced. While loved ones may have exhausted all efforts they know of, the ultimate choice is not theirs. If an individual is resolute about ending their life, there is nothing anyone can say or do to prevent it. Each of us is answerable for our own actions. God does not hold us responsible for another’s choices. False guilt is the devil’s tool to rob us of our joy and future.

If you are contemplating suicide, please seek help immediately. Call 1-800-273-8255, the national hotline, get yourself to a hospital if possible, call 911, inform someone in your residence, apartment, workplace, or wherever you are, and take any necessary steps to seek assistance.

National Hopeline Network: 1-800-422-HOPE (4673)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

Befrienders.org: http://www.befrienders.org/directory

Suicide hotlines available inMost countries: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html