How can a Christian avoid being a doormat for other people?

Answer

A doormat is a small rug placed just inside a doorway where people can wipe their dirty shoes before entering the house. The term doormat is also used figuratively to describe individuals who allow themselves to be (figuratively) walked on by others; in other words, a doormat permits themselves to be abused, disparaged, or taken advantage of without defending themselves. Since Jesus taught us to “turn the other cheek” «but I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. », (Matthew 5:39) and to “do good to those who hate you” « But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, », (Luke 6:27), was He instructing us to be doormats?

Jesus was not teaching His disciples to be doormats. Instead, He was emphasizing that, to honor God and demonstrate ourselves as His true children, we must be pure inside and out and be as accommodating as possible for the sake of a lost world. To “turn the other cheek” does not imply that we put ourselves or others in danger or that we overlook injustice. When we face personal offenses (“slaps on the cheek”), our initial reaction should not be to retaliate in a similar manner. Being a doormat signifies weakness, whereas choosing forgiveness represents strength. “A person’s wisdom yields patience; / it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” «The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; And it is his glory to pass over a transgression. », (Proverbs 19:11).

While we often concentrate on outward appearances, God always examines the heart (Jeremiah17:10; John 2:25; 1 Samuel 16:7). Commands such as “do good to those who hate you” are aimed at the hearts of His followers. Jesus desires His love to be our primary motivation for everything we do (1 Corinthians 16:14; 1 Thessalonians 3:12). If we are striving to do good to our enemies, we are rejecting vengeance or bitterness from taking root in our hearts «looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; », (Hebrews 12:15). God understands that our outward actions may not always reflect our inner motivations, and it is those inner motivations that matter most to Him.

It may seem honorable and Christlike when someone allows themselves to be used as a doormat, but there could also be a selfish reason behind it. For instance, some individuals permit themselves to be doormats due to their insecurities and low self-worth. They fear rejection, so they permit others to violate their personal boundaries in the hope of being appreciated and loved. They seek validation by trading it for compliance, essentially expecting flawed individuals to define their worth instead of relying on God for that. This approach seldom succeeds, and the doormat ends up feeling worse than before.

A Christian can avoid becoming a doormat by first recognizing their true worth. Every person is made in the image of God, to reflect His glory and beauty in unique ways (Genesis 1:27; 1 Corinthians 10:31). Superficial factors do not determine one’s value. If God does not hold our shortcomings against us, then we shouldn’t either «What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can b

Is God for us? (Romans 8:31). Understanding that God has declared us righteous because of Jesus’ death and resurrection “For he made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”, (2 Corinthians 5:21) should empower us to live in the freedom that brings. We are not anyone’s doormats; we are sons and daughters of the Most High God (Philippians 2:14-15; Ephesians 5:1).

Second, when a Christian practices being “crucified with Christ” “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”, (Galatians 2:20), the focus shifts from self to the Lord. Jesus, the true Servant of All, was not a doormat. He served freely but never allowed people to take from Him what He was not ready to give. At one point, crowds tried to throw Him over a cliff “And rose up, and thrust him out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might cast him down headlong.”, (Luke 4:29). Another time, they wanted to make Him king “When Jesus therefore perceived that they would come and take him by force, to make him a king, he departed again into a mountain himself alone.”, (John 6:15). Because neither was God’s plan for Him, Jesus merely slipped away. He refused to be their doormat.

Third, Christians can seek wise counsel about boundary-set

Being. The Bible is a book of limits and repercussions. Establishing healthy limits contributes to fostering strong relationships. The term no holds significant power. It is crucial to understand that supporting the wrongdoings or lack of accountability of others is not an act of love; it is self-centered. Selfish apprehension, stemming from a longing for others to love, value, or depend on us, drives us to rescue individuals who should face the outcomes of their actions. Setting wise limits allows others to face the consequences they deserve and, ideally, to grow from those experiences. When confronted with a request to violate a limit, a typically compliant individual can be empowered to assert themselves with a courteous “no.” While God loves us, He is unafraid to decline when necessary. Doormats are typically individuals who struggle to refuse when required. Understanding the reasons behind our fear can be a significant stride in overcoming that obstacle.

Childhood trauma can ensnare certain individuals in an unhealthy submissive position, convincing them that their destiny is to be a doormat. They might have observed a parent exemplifying doormat behavior and believe they have no alternative but to follow suit. Biblical counseling can aid those who feel powerless to break free from the doormat role. They can discover how to rebuff the falsehoods that Satan has implanted in their souls and rejuvenate their minds with the truth of God (Romans 12:1-2).