Do we need to confess our sins to those we have sinned against?

Answer

We know we are to confess our sins to God, but many Christians wonder whether we need to confess to those we have sinned against. Do we need to tell the person we’ve sinned against that we’re sorry? “Walking in the light” «but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. », (1 John 1:7) means that we are living in obedience to God’s commandments. In the same verse, we have references to forgiveness through Christ and “fellowship one with another.” So, there is a connection between having a “clean slate” and our relationship with other people.

Every sin is ultimately committed against God «Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: That thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. », (Psalm 51:4). The Bible consistently emphasizes our need to confess our sins to Him (Psalm 41:4;Psalm 130:4;Acts 8:22;1 John 1:9). As for the confession of our sins to people, the Bible gives no blanket command. We are told many times to confess our sins to the Lord, but the only direct command to confess to someone else is in the context of church elders praying on behalf of the sick «Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. », (James 5:16).

This does not mean that we are never to seek another person’s forgiveness. The Bible gives examples of confession to other people.One example is Joseph’s brothers asking for his forgiveness in Genesis 50:17-18. Personal confession is implied in passages such as Luke 17:3-4; Ephesians 4:32; and Colossians 3:13.

The principles here appear to be: 1) We should seek forgiveness from the Lord for every sin. He desires “truth in the inward parts” «Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: And in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. », (Psalm 51:6). 2) If our relationship with the Lord is right, then our relationships with other people will fall in line. We will treat others graciously, with justice and honesty (Psalm 15). To sin against someone and not attempt to make it right would be unthinkable. 3) The level of the apology for a sin should match the impact of the sin. In other words, we should seek forgiveness from whoever was directly involved to ensure healing.

For instance, if a man looks with lust at a woman, he should immediately confess the sin to the Lord. It would not be necessary or appropriate to confess that sin to the woman. That sin is between the man and the Lord. However, if a man breaks a promise or does something that directly affects the woman, he must confess to her and seek her forgiveness. If a sin involves a large group of people, such as a church, a man or woman must then extend the confession to the members of the church. Therefore, the confession and apology should match the impact. Those affected by the sin should hear the confession.

While our forgiveness from God is not contingent on confessing our sins to others and/or their forgiving us, God does call us to be honest and forthcoming with others about our failings, especially when our mistakes involve them. When we have offended, hurt, or sinned against others, we should strive to offer a sincere apology and confession and request forgiveness. Whether forgiveness is granted is at the discretion of those to whom we confessed.

Our duty is to truly repent, admit the wrongdoing, and request forgiveness.